Couples therapy works — especially when you start early. Here's what to expect and how to find the right fit.

Did you know that in the United States, the divorce rate is approximately 2.5 per 1,000 people?

Whether in marriage or not, relationships are hard work. So many challenges can arise when two people come together. It can be hard to communicate honestly and openly. There may be disagreements, arguments, and intense emotions. Sometimes, problems like infidelity, intimacy, finances, or parenting may put enormous stress on everyone involved.

Thankfully, there are professional therapists out there who work with couples to deal with issues like these. With the rise of technology, online relationship counseling is becoming a popular choice for busy people. Read on to learn more about what couples counseling involves and what options are available online.

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Key takeaways

  • Effective communication is essential in any relationship — couples therapy provides tools for expressing emotions, resolving conflict, and building understanding.
  • Couples therapy can help with communication breakdown, infidelity, intimacy issues, anger, financial stress, co-parenting, and mental health concerns affecting the relationship.
  • Many therapy approaches are available — including the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), and CBT — and the right fit depends on your relationship’s specific needs.
  • Online couples therapy is as effective as in-person therapy for many couples and offers added convenience, especially for busy schedules or long-distance relationships.
  • On Grow Therapy, you can filter for couples therapists who accept your insurance and book directly from a provider’s profile.

What is couples therapy?

Couples therapy is sometimes also called relationship counseling or marriage counseling. Couples therapy often involves a therapist meeting with two people in a relationship, differing from individual therapy, in which a person works with a therapist one-on-one. During marriage counseling sessions, the therapist will discuss issues that may challenge the relationship to create a healthier one.

Does couples counseling work? Yes — research consistently shows that couples therapy reduces relationship distress and improves communication, emotional connection, and overall relationship satisfaction.

Did you know?

The U.S. divorce rate is approximately 2.5 per 1,000 people — and research consistently shows that couples who seek therapy early, before problems become entrenched, have significantly better outcomes than those who wait. On average, couples wait six years after problems begin before seeking help.

Common problems that relationship counseling can impact

There are many types of relationship issues that counseling can help with:

Communication

Working on communication and conflict resolution skills is commonly involved, which can lead to a healthier relationship. Such skills include problem-solving or learning to express emotions in healthy ways.

Anger or aggression

Anger and aggression are other common issues that relationship counselors can help with. Left unaddressed, anger and aggression can negatively affect a relationship. Aggression can be physical, like hitting or causing injury, or psychological, like verbal abuse or threats.

Couples counselors may address these issues by developing anger management skills like recognizing anger and its triggers and learning to take time-outs or other techniques to help regulate intense emotions.

Infidelity

Infidelity and extramarital affairs are major problems that can lead couples to divorce or separate. Couples therapy sessions for these issues might begin with helping couples cope with their emotions, behaviors, and everyday lives after discovering or disclosing an affair. The marriage therapist can help both individuals figure out what factors led to the affair and then facilitate a conversation between the couple about how to move forward.

Intimacy

Intimacy and sexual difficulties may also be an issue a licensed counselor can help with. Qualified therapists may offer sex therapy to help improve a couple’s sex lives. On the other hand, intimacy-related matters do not always focus on sex alone; intimacy therapy for couples can sometimes focus on communication and desire.

Mental health

Sometimes, couples therapy also involves discussing physical and mental health conditions that may affect a relationship. Whether they affect one or both people in the relationship, physical and mental health issues such as substance use disorders, mood and anxiety disorders, pain, disability, and terminal illness can often be a source of distress and conflict.

Other concerns

Other concerns that may come up in romantic relationships include:

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Types of therapists for relationship counseling

Many different types of licensed therapists, marriage counselors, and mental health professionals can help with relationship counseling, including:

Insurance providers may have different rules about what professional counselors they will pay for. Check with your insurance to see what coverage you’re eligible for.

How does couples therapy work?

Couples therapy sessions are commonly weekly sessions of about one hour each. The number of sessions needed depends on the couple and the relationship concerns involved. Sometimes, a few sessions over a few weeks is enough; sometimes, therapy is needed for several months.

There are a wide range of formats that couples therapy sessions can take on, but the main objectives usually involve:

  • Both partners seeing the relationship as a shared endeavor rather than being one-sided or blaming
  • Regulating emotions
  • Sharing emotions
  • Improving communication skills
  • Increasing strength and resilience

Types of relationship counseling

Relationship therapists can use many different therapy approaches, and the right type of therapy differs for clients’ unique needs. Here are a few examples:

  • Emotion-Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT) helps couples express, understand, and regulate emotions such as feeling hurt, inadequate, unloved, disrespected, or unappreciated
  • Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT) focuses on making positive behavioral changes within a relationship.
  • Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT) builds on BCT but also emphasizes emotional acceptance rather than focusing on behavior change by itself.
  • Integrated Systemic Couple Therapy (IST / ISCT) tries to change negative cycles of interaction by re-framing interactions in more positive ways.
  • Family therapy explores the impact that individuals have on a larger family system, particularly if there are other family members involved in addition to the couple in a relationship, such as children or extended family.
  • Narrative therapy helps couples think about their relationship and their lives in ways that are more helpful and meaningful.
  • Psychodynamic psychotherapy helps couples to understand their unconscious motivations and to work toward meaningful change and growth.
  • Solution-focused brief therapy focuses on finding solutions to current problems that can be addressed in the short term.
  • The Gottman Method of couples therapy focuses on friendship, conflict management, and shared meaning in a relationship.
  • Reflective listening is a way of communicating that promotes empathy, trust, relationship building, and motivation.
  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps couples understand and adjust their patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
  • Discernment counseling is usually used for couples who are in disagreement about whether to stay together or separate. The goal is to understand both partners’ points of view and decide on actions for moving forward.
  • Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) tries to build empathy in a relationship by practicing dialogue and other exercises.

The type of therapy matters, but the therapist matters more. Research consistently shows that the therapeutic alliance — the quality of the relationship between client and therapist — is one of the strongest predictors of outcome in couples work.

 

That said, some approaches are better suited to specific situations. The Gottman Method is particularly well-suited for couples dealing with communication breakdown and conflict. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) works well when emotional disconnection or attachment fears are at the core of the problem. Discernment counseling is specifically designed for couples where one or both partners are ambivalent about staying together. If you’re unsure where to start, a good first session with a couples therapist will include an assessment of your relationship’s specific challenges and a recommendation for the approach most likely to help.

Online couples and marriage therapy

Online services are now easily available for couples counseling services. The use of virtual counseling services is part of a new type of health care called telemental health care.

Online relationship therapy usually involves meeting with a couples therapist using online therapy platforms that offer video sessions. Research has found that videoconferencing couples therapy produces comparable outcomes to in-person therapy across relationship satisfaction, mental health, and the therapeutic alliance.

Three Advantages of online couples and marriage therapy

Online couples therapy can have many advantages over in-person sessions. Below are three advantages couples have when they take part in online marriage counseling sessions:

Convenience

Online therapy platforms are usually accessed from a computer or mobile phone. That means that people can access it from wherever is most convenient for them, whether it be at home or on the go. Virtual therapy sessions may also be more convenient if individuals live in different locations or remote regions where counselors may be unavailable or if they are traveling.

Technological tools

Online couples therapy also comes with the benefit of new technologies that can improve the therapy experience. For example, the online therapy platform may have links to online educational materials or provide reminders or notifications for follow-ups.

Cost-effectiveness

Online counseling may also be more cost-effective for some people. Being able to attend a therapy session from a computer or phone may help save costs that would have been spent on things like gas, public transit, or parking.

Challenges of online couples and marriage therapy

Everything has its pros and cons, and online therapy is no exception. Virtual therapy services rely on technology, which can come with its own difficulties:

  • A strong and stable internet connection is often required for online sessions to run smoothly. If there are connection issues, it can disrupt the flow of the therapy session and take time and troubleshooting to fix.
  • Some people do not feel comfortable with using technology like the internet, computers, or applications.
  • It is also necessary to have the proper equipment, like a laptop or a mobile phone, that can operate the online therapy platform. Not everyone has access to these, particularly people who may be financially disadvantaged.
  • Finally, there is the issue of privacy and confidentiality when using online services. Most online therapists use secured platforms for privacy and security, but be sure to double-check with your therapist.

Seeking help, together

Online couples therapy can be an effective way to reduce stress and conflict in a relationship. Therapists usually work with both partners to bring harmony and strength to the relationship and help provide tips for managing emotions and improving communication.

There are many different types of relationship counseling to choose from, depending on personal preferences and the experience of the therapist you decide to work with. Check out our other articles to learn how to find the right couples therapist for your relationship.

At Grow Therapy, we make it easy to find a therapist who’s right for you and your partner. Check out our online search tool to find a therapist near you who specializes in couples and marriage therapy.

Final thoughts

The fact that you’re looking into couples therapy is itself a meaningful step. Most couples wait far too long before seeking help — by which point small patterns have become entrenched problems. Getting support early, or even proactively, tends to produce better outcomes than waiting for a crisis.

Online couples therapy removes many of the practical barriers — scheduling conflicts, geography, cost — that keep couples from getting started. On Grow Therapy, you can filter for couples therapists, check who accepts your insurance, and book directly from a provider’s profile. Most clients are in their first session within two days.

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Frequently asked questions

Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy in which two people in a relationship work with a licensed therapist to address challenges affecting the partnership. Sessions typically focus on communication, conflict resolution, emotional connection, and specific issues like infidelity, intimacy, or co-parenting. Couples therapy differs from individual therapy in that the relationship itself is the primary focus, not one person’s individual mental health. Both partners attend sessions together, though some therapists also schedule individual sessions as part of the process.

There are many evidence-based approaches to couples therapy. The Gottman Method focuses on friendship, conflict management, and shared meaning. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) targets emotional disconnection and attachment patterns. Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy (CBCT) helps partners identify and change unhelpful thought and behavior patterns. Discernment counseling is specifically for couples uncertain about whether to stay together. Most couples therapists draw on multiple approaches depending on what a couple needs. The right fit depends on your relationship’s specific challenges and your therapist’s training.

The main advantages of online couples therapy are convenience, accessibility, and in many cases lower cost. Partners can attend sessions from home without coordinating travel, which is especially helpful for busy schedules or long-distance relationships. Research shows videoconferencing therapy is as effective as in-person for most couples. The main challenges are technical — a stable internet connection, compatible devices, and a private space for sessions are all necessary. Some couples also find it harder to feel fully present or connected in a virtual environment. If privacy at home is a concern, it’s worth discussing with your therapist before starting.

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About Grow Therapy

Grow Therapy (Grow) is an online therapy platform making it easier to access high-quality, insurance-covered therapy and psychiatric care. With a network of over 25,000 licensed providers and coverage for 220 million Americans, Grow delivers care that's easy to start, affordable to continue, and grounded in trust.
This article is not meant to be a replacement for medical advice. We recommend speaking with a therapist for personalized information about your mental health. If you don’t currently have a therapist, we can connect you with one who can offer support and address any questions or concerns. If you or your child is experiencing a medical emergency, is considering harming themselves or others, or is otherwise in imminent danger, you should dial 9-1-1 and/or go to the nearest emergency room.