(she/her)
Welcome! I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, who believes change begins with feeling truly seen and supported. My style is warm, collaborative, and practical. Sometimes we dig deep into feelings to understand and learn from the past - always with self-compassion and gentleness at your pace. My hope is always to empower individuals and couples in their own strengths, and identify healthy and unhealthy patterns of learned communication and connection that impact intimacy, anxiety, worry, codependency, and perfectionism. Together, we learn and practice ways to create healthier relationships with a felt-sense of safety, equity, respect, trust, and love. I believe our body and mind work together, so we will explore thoughts, feelings, and body sensations to uncover what is inside, waiting to be expressed and healed. We give life back to our authentic and true selves. Therapy can be a bit scary and overwhelming if you've never experienced it before. I am committed to creating a safe, empathic, and non-judgmental space for you to practice being true to your own personality, values, and spirit. I look forward to our working together!
In our first session, we get to know each other, by you sharing your "best hopes" in therapy. We begin to build a connection of safety and trust, and decide if we would like to work together. I always want the client to make the best decision for them, about who they choose to work with. I provide a calm space that is comforting and non-judgmental, as we begin to gather information about your relationships, strengths, childhood, and growing edges. This first session is more of an "assessment" where I begin to learn about you, and together we start to formulate the goals you want to work on in our therapy sessions. My only ask in therapy is for the client to bring an open, curious mind for learning.
My biggest strength is my compassionate heart. I like to know the whole picture of a person before I come to any conclusions, because we have all been through pain and suffering at some point in our lives. And we have all made mistakes. I bring my own personal experience healing from codependency and the pain of living a false-self without boundaries. I grew up believing I needed to take care of others, and the cost was not fullfilling my own dreams. As I learned about and gained access to my true-self, with the support of 12-step recovery and therapy, I felt free to live beyond mere survival. With this knowledge of myself, I am able to listen and reflect with clients who are struggling from loss and fearing new beginnings. I am curious by nature, and love to watch others grow. My professional experience is a blend of 30 years as a licensed therapist and family law paralegal supporting families going through the divorce process.
Do you often place others' needs before your own? Is it usually easier to guess what others are feeling, rather than asking or sharing your own feelings? Do your relationships often feel one-sided, and you end up feeling resentful? Do you wonder why you keep getting into arguments, when you actually have the same goals? As a recovering "people-pleaser" I am able to be empathic with clients from my learned experience. I grew up believing taking care of others would earn me the love and nurturing I craved. And, since my needs were not being met, I grew to believe that others' needs mattered more than mine. I understand that setting boundaries can be scary, because we might push people away, and yet boundaries build the foundation of our identity.
Compassion Focused
In sessions, we learn and practice ways to create a "compassionate mindset", which replaces shame and self-criticism. We turn down the volume of our inner critic and suffering, with mindfulness and basic kindness. It's like tending to the garden of your life with water and not judgment.
Trauma-Focused CBT
I am passionate about couples and family systems. In sessions we explore family dynamics and learn how early relationships influence how we relate to others today. We also explore the connection between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, to better understand why we make the decisions we do, and to improve our mood and reduce anxiety.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
Learning to regulate our nervous system is key to living a conscious life. In sessions, we practice deep-breathing and other mindfulness exercises for calming the nervous system and bringing awareness into the present moment. Living with presence improves our relationships and allows us to be fully engaged in the here and now.
Gottman method
In sessions with couples, we first explore patterns of relating that are causing ongoing conflict. We then practice new patterns of communication that allow space for feelings, repairing old ruptures by taking responsibility, problem-solving with kindness, and self-soothing. The goal is to heal by building a healthier connection based on mutual understanding, trust, and accepting perceptions that differ from our own.
Solution Focused Brief Treatment
I use SFBT techniques to empower clients by moving towards their "best hopes" and not getting stuck on the problem. We look at resilience in overcoming and getting through past struggles, and stay focused on strengths, resources, and future possibilities.