Hello! I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. I received my degree from Chapman College in Orange, California and have been a licensed therapist in practice for over 30 years. I have seen children, teens, and adults, for a wide range of issues including anxiety, depression, grief, stress, self esteem, interpersonal, communication issues and parenting. I have helped many young people with anxiety disorders. I very much enjoy working with parents. The saying "Parenting is the hardest job you will ever love" is true and it's also one of my favorite topics as a therapist. Older people like to talk to me too because I remember things they remember.
At our first session, I want to get the big picture of how things are going in your life, including what strengths and support you feel you have, as well as hearing about your challenges. I can also answer questions you may have for me so we can get to know each other better. I will help you identify specific goals, and what those look like, to give us an idea of where to begin.
I genuinely care about my clients and am interested in their lives and goals. That has kept working with people fresh and compelling for over three decades. I have some life experience and knowledge to share, but I also continue to learn every day, sometimes from my clients, and enjoy sharing the path of change and growth with them.
I enjoy working with people of all ages and find that I am often most helpful to people in a period of transition. Transitions are stressful and many people seek therapy during them, so as a result I have noticed that many new clients have just moved, or are starting college or their careers, or have just had a baby and feel lost, or are getting married, or divorced, are raising children and feel overwhelmed, or are becoming empty nesters. New clients often come in when they are getting divorced, or creating blended families or grieving the loss of their parents, or going through menapause or contemplating retirement. Often the same people come in for one reason and later come back for another! If we will doing child or family therapy please note that I prefer to see older children (10 and above) with some parental oversight. This is because we are working via video and not in my office where I am much more adept at holding the attention of younger children. I would like the parent(s) to give me an update at the start of the session, and then if the child is comfortable, I can speak with them individually. It's also acceptable to see the parent and child together for the entire session if the primary issue is that a parent wants the child's behavior to change. If however the primary issue is anxiety, depression or trauma then it is best if I work with the child individually once we have established rapport and the child feels comfortable.
I ask open ended questions to highlight any positive changes the client makes toward their stated goals and to quickly instill hope that further change is possible. I affirm my client's progress by keeping the focus on them and practice reflective listening, ending by summarizing the changes they have made. These strategies are adaptable to most all clients.
I actively listen and help clients identify negative self talk as well as underlying cognitive distortortions and core beliefs. If clients are willing I encourage them to keep a thoughts and feelings journal to help them become more consciously aware of how their thoughts drive their emotions and consequently their behavior, and how this gives them a window of opportunity for change. I find that this approach works best with more verbal people and more anxious people, but it does not appeal to everyone.
I ask clients to tell me about the problem as they see it. I encourage them to think about similar times when they have faced difficulties and to remember how they solved that problem to see if they could adapt any part of that skill set to this set of circumstances. I ask them what is the first small thing that needs to change. I ask them about things or times that are exceptions to the problem, or a time when the problem did not exist. I encourage clients to scale their progress over time. If ask clients if there is someone they know who seems to handle the problem in a way they wish they could handle it and then to pretend to be that person or act as-if. This method works well for chronic negative thinkers and people who want to solve a specific issue but not spend a long time in treatment.