Lisa Thayer
Every individual deserves to be genuinely heard, understood, and valued. When we face uncertainty in our relationships—whether with people, places, or things—it is easy to feel stuck, emotionally isolated, and disconnected. Trauma isn't just about relationship conflict; it fractures our basic assumptions of safety, eroding the quality of our attachments over time. I specialize in trauma therapy for individuals, couples, and families. Through relational attachment therapy, I help clients restore the quality of their relationships by rebuilding their sense of self-worth in the face of overwhelming shame or profound loss. Together, we safely confront the complex attachment injuries, ruptures, and losses that are difficult to face alone.
The foundation is rooted in neurobiology, which means we work to find and repair the bio-psycho-social root causes that block access to a primary emotional experience.
My approach emphasizes attachment safety and working with your attachment style to rebuild secure attachment. We work to clarify implicit, unacknowledged emotions, attachment needs, and longings in the process. By transforming these hidden feelings into clear, open communication, we deepen your connections and help you feel truly understood. In our work, we will identify what blocks meaningful connection, repair what can be mended, and take dedicated time to grieve what you choose to let go of. Our journey together is focused on healing, reconnecting, and fostering hope. I provide a supportive, judgment-free environment where you can express your true self without fear. Here, you will feel safe and empowered to value your true self, process your shame, and safely allow more of who you are to be seen as you step into a brighter, more connected future.
First session
In our first session, we will discuss why you are seeking therapy and explore how you may feel disconnected and not understood from within or with others right now. We will start by identifying your resources, shining a light on your strengths, and discussing the effects of your beliefs about yourself on reaching your goals. My goal is to create a safe environment, build a partnership, and assist you in moving safely toward your goals.
Strengths
As a therapist, I help you uncover deeper self-awareness and step into your full potential. My approach is explicitly secure-attachment-based, centering on retrieving lost attachment security by tracking your present process with deep attunement to core feelings. I hold a certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Level 3 training in Accelerated Experiential Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), and Level 2 training in Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT). This advanced training helps me quickly make the implicit explicit, pinpoint moments of incongruence, and create an accelerated pathway to healing through a corrective relational experience. Rooted in neurobiology (Polyvagal Theory), this experiential work targets the bio-psycho-social barriers blocking access to your primary emotional experiences. By identifying and restoring your fundamental attachment needs, we safely work through the learned defense mechanisms that get in the way of true survival, emotional connection, and relational flourishing.
Ideal clients
Individuals, families, and couples experiencing disconnection, self-shame, difficulty being vulnerable, and wanting to improve the quality of their connections with themselves and others.
Treatment methods
Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP)
I am an Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapist (AEDP, Level 3), an Attachment-Based Family Therapist (ABFT, Level 2), and at the highest level prior to submission for certification as an Emotion-Focused Therapist (EFT).
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is an attachment-based therapeutic model designed to assist couples in recognizing and altering negative interaction patterns to strengthen their bond. This approach emphasizes understanding and restructuring emotional responses and attachment needs that lead to conflicts. It highlights the importance of recognizing secondary emotions, such as frustration, annoyance, and anger, in order to access underlying primary emotions and attachment needs like fear, abandonment, rejection, and longing to feel cherished and seen.
Family Therapy
Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT) is a structured and evidence-based approach designed to strengthen the parent-child relationship to address adolescent depression and suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and fears about belonging. The therapy aims to repair any disruptions in the parent-child bond. By focusing on rebuilding trust and emotional security, ABFT helps parents become a supportive foundation for their adolescents, allowing young people to feel safe seeking help from their parents during difficult times. The therapy involves five structured tasks that guide the process. These tasks emphasize relational reframing, building alliances with the adolescent and the parents, repairing the attachment, and promoting the adolescent's independence.
Location
Virtual sessions
Identifies as
Top specialties
Other specialties
Serves
Licensed in
- CaliforniaLicense 30096
- New JerseyLicense 35SI00496800