Dr. Ruby Lauderdale-Akhigbe
I love providing counseling to individuals, couples, and families. I am also very passionate about men and mental health. I have observed that many men suffer in silence and feel emotionally trapped in a straitjacket. I love listening to my clients. From the first sesion, I focus on instilling hope.
I want clients to know that no one can heal as long as they are stuck in the unhealthy cycle of resorting to psychological defense mechanism to avoid getting "real" with self and others.
I want my clients to leave feeling encouraged and relieved. I do not pretend to fix my clients problem/issue(s). The research shows that when a person has a safe space to release ans someone to contain and care, a positive hormone gets release. I am here because I care. I seek to understand and empathize. I love helping those who are stressed, ancious, depressed, weary, worrying, hurting, confused, lost, sad, or hopeless. It is rewarding to me to help others release stress, improve their functioning, and overall well-being. I strongly believe in using a holistic approach. I educate my clients regarding coping strategies, coping techniques, and coping skills. Interested clients are offered educational material to review. It is my clinical perspective that the mind, body, and spirit are significant to well-being. I am very strong in my faith as a believer and follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. Each individual's narrative, perspective, and voice, matters. I love helping those struggling to adapt and adjust to life stressors, transitions, and difficulties. I hold a doctorate in Marriage & Family Counseling. I am passionate about helping individuals, couples, and families adapt; improve communication; improve patterns of interaction; and relationship dynamics. I love what I do and I have been providing counseling to children, teenagers, young adults, couples, and families, for over 27 years.
First session
Clients can expect me to respect them as the experts on their life, quickly establish rapport, build therapeutic alliance, and trust. Just as clients have an expectation of me, I also have an expectation of them. I expect clients to be willing to be transparent and speak candidly. I also expect clients to be motivated enought to decide if they are truly ready for this journey. I want them to understand that at times, they may experience increases in anxiety as they become real enough to begin adressing the hard issues (real enough to "lift up the carpet and begin sweeping underneath it" real enough to begin gently pulling off the bandage and truly address the wound.
Strengths
I feel that my greatest strengths are being genuine and showing empathy in order to meet clients where they are. I want clients to actively participate in the journey. I also want then to be open and honest, for some clients, they have never experienced open, honest, and transparent communication with anyone. Some clients have been running, hidding, ducking, and dodging, and trying to keep a straight face. I enjoy creating a safe space where clients experience ease and become comfortable letting down defenses (denial; repression; projection; rationalization; displacement; regression; reaction formation; compensation; sublimationintellectualization; supression, etc.). I want clients to know that no one can heal as long as they are stuck in the unhealthy cycle of resorting to psychological defense mechanism to avoid getting "real" with self and others.
Ideal clients
I am best positioned to serve clients who feel hopeless, helpless, or defeated.
Treatment methods
Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
I am certified in CBT. I make every effort to make this effective techniqe user-friendly to my clients. I have found that once clients learn the importance of becoming mindful of thought patterns and how they impact emotions and functioning, it is an eye opener. The next step in this approach is to encourage clients to make attempts to stop negative feedback loopes and then focus on alternative ways of thinking. The average person has anywhere from 12,000- 60,000 thoughts per day. You are not your thoughts! You can change your subjective interpretation by changing negative, distorted, self-defeating, and irrational thoughts. Although the above issues are often complex, thoughts are a major factor and should not be ignored during counseling.
Compassion Focused
I have a great deal of cmpassion on individuals struggling to cope with depression, suicidal ideation, lanxiety, excessive worrying, panic symptoms, grief/loss, anger management, emotion regulation, thoughts of hopelessness, thought of helplessness, and major life stressors.
Christian Counseling
I have extensive experience integrating biblical teachings, prayer, and the power of the Holy Spirit, with clients who are seeking a more holistic approach.
Grief Therapy
I understand the various stages of grief (e.g. shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and have supported clients through difficult adjustments during loss.
Person-centered (Rogerian)
Each client has a unique narrative and perspective. Your story and your voice matters!I focus on utilizing those unique aspects.
Location
Virtual sessions