(he/him)
Feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or stuck? Whether you're navigating anxiety, relationship conflict, a crisis of faith, or identity shifts, therapy can be a powerful place to realign with what matters most. I'm CJ Backer, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I work with individuals, couples, and families who are ready to explore the deeper patterns influencing their emotional lives. Using a systems lens, I help clients understand how family of origin, culture, and spirituality shape how they relate to themselves and others. Clients often come to me seeking support with anxiety, trauma, faith deconstruction or reconstruction, life transitions, and strained family dynamics. My approach is grounded in presence, curiosity, and collaboration—and draws from evidence-based modalities like CBT, DBT, and narrative therapy. Whether you're managing daily stress or healing longstanding wounds, I provide a safe, non-judgmental space to reconnect with your values, deepen self-understanding, and create lasting change.
From the very beginning, you can expect a space where you don’t have to shrink, perform, or pretend to be okay. This is a space built on compassion and trust—where your full humanity is not just allowed, but welcomed. You’ll be met not for what you’ve accomplished or the roles you’ve taken on, but for the person you are underneath it all—your questions, your longings, your grief, your courage. I listen not just for what’s said out loud, but for what’s carried quietly beneath the surface—the parts of your story that maybe haven’t had room to breathe until now. You don’t have to have it all figured out to show up here. In fact, you don’t have to be anything other than exactly who you are. Your story matters. Your voice matters. You matter. Together, we’ll build a relationship rooted in authenticity and mutual respect. One where you can explore your experiences at your own pace, without fear of judgment or pressure to “get it right.” My commitment is to show up with empathy, curiosity, and care—so that you feel not just heard, but truly seen. Because so often, healing begins not with fixing, but with finally being witnessed.
I bring a grounded, attentive presence into each session. I’m not just listening for words—I’m listening for what’s underneath them. Often, the most important parts of our stories live in the pauses, the hesitations, and the feelings that are hard to name. I hold space for those pieces with care. Clients often share that they feel safe to show up exactly as they are—messy, tired, uncertain, or in the middle of something hard. That safety is intentional. I work to create a space where there’s no pressure to perform, explain, or rush your process. You get to be real here. I don’t see you as a diagnosis or a checklist of symptoms. I see you as a whole person—complex, resilient, layered. Your pain is part of the story, but it’s never the whole story. I make space for both your struggles and your strength. My work is deeply relational. I believe healing happens when we feel genuinely connected and emotionally safe. I bring warmth, empathy, and presence into the therapeutic relationship—not as a strategy, but because it’s how real change is made. Sometimes, what helps most is being offered a reflection of something you haven’t quite put words to yet. I offer insight not just based on what’s said, but on what’s felt. These gentle reflections can bring clarity, compassion, and a deeper sense of understanding. There’s no urgency here. I honor your pace and your process. Whether you’re ready to dive deep or need to ease into the work, we’ll move in a way that feels safe and respectful to you. You set the pace. I walk with you. At the heart of it all, my goal is to help you reconnect with the parts of yourself that may have been quieted, hidden, or stretched thin by expectation. This work isn’t about fixing who you are—it’s about remembering and reclaiming the self you’ve always been.
I’m most aligned with those who find themselves in the quiet tension between who they are and who they feel they’re supposed to be. The people I work best with are often the ones who look like they’re holding it all together on the outside—but inside, they’re carrying the weight of expectations, roles, and responsibilities that have slowly crowded out their sense of self. Their worth has become tangled up in being the good parent, the dependable partner, the high achiever, the caretaker, the leader. And somewhere along the way, they’ve lost touch with the person underneath all of those roles. Therapy, for us, becomes a place to pause, breathe, and gently begin the work of coming back home to yourself—not to perform or prove, but to simply be. They may appear to be functioning well on the outside—checking boxes, meeting deadlines, fulfilling obligations—but inside, there’s a growing restlessness, a quiet ache. The life they’ve built may look “successful” by external standards, but their internal experience tells another story. Satisfaction has become elusive, often tethered to the approval, praise, or recognition of others. Their peace and self-worth rise and fall with external feedback, leaving them in a cycle of striving, performing, and self-questioning. At the core, these individuals are longing for deeper authenticity, a sense of alignment between their inner world and outer expression. They crave permission to be more than the sum of their roles—to rediscover the truth of who they are beneath the layers of expectations, to reclaim their voice, and to live from a place of self-defined worth rather than earned validation. My role is to walk alongside them in this rediscovery. To help them gently untangle their identity from their roles, reconnect with their intrinsic value, and cultivate a sense of self that is grounded, whole, and not dependent on external approval. In doing so, they can begin to experience a deeper, more enduring form of satisfaction—one rooted not in performance, but in presence and authenticity.
CBT becomes a tool, not a rule. As we explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, we work side-by-side to piece together what feels aligned with your lived experience and what might be shaped by patterns, beliefs, or narratives that no longer serve you. It’s not about fitting into a framework—it's about using CBT to support your understanding and growth in a way that is uniquely yours.
In Christian Counseling, I hold space for faith to be an integrated part of the therapeutic journey—without agenda, pressure, or assumption. I take a non-directive approach, meaning I don’t come in with answers, but rather sit with you as we listen together for what’s being revealed. What is true for you is honored and held with the same weight as any theological or spiritual insight.
DBT offers powerful tools for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and mindfulness—but we use them in a way that honors your pace and your truth. My role is not to fix or direct, but to sit beside you, helping to hold the tension between acceptance and change. Through reflection and collaboration, we explore what parts of your experience are grounded in truth, what may be shaped by suffering, and what skills can support the life you want to build.