Licensed to practice in California and accepts 42 insurances. Specializes in Grief, Self Esteem, Trauma and PTSD and 7 more.

Paul Kalkin

(he/him)

LMFT, 14 years of experience
Direct
Challenging
Open-minded
VirtualAvailable

About me

I'm a psychoanalyst, not a generalist talk therapist. That distinction matters, especially because "psychoanalysis" gets used loosely to describe all kinds of depth-oriented work — Jungian, relational, psychodynamic — and these approaches, while related, aren't the same as what I do. I work specifically within a Lacanian framework. Where Jungian analysis tends to orient around archetypes and the collective unconscious, and relational/psychodynamic approaches often emphasize the therapeutic relationship itself as the primary vehicle of change, Lacanian work stays close to language: what you actually say, how you say it, where you stumble, repeat, or contradict yourself. The unconscious, in this view, isn't a symbolic underworld to be mapped; it's structured like a language, and it shows up in the gaps, slips, and inconsistencies of your own speech. My job isn't to interpret you from the outside or to be a warm, steady presence that helps you feel supported (though I'm very present and attentive to what you say). It's by listening very closely to what you say — and how you say it — that patterns you can't currently see start to become audible to you. This also means the frame looks different than typical talk therapy. Sessions can be variable in length rather than a fixed 45 to 60 minutes, because meaningful moments don't always arrive on a schedule. Over time, and only when it makes sense, we may move toward more frequent sessions and away from face-to-face format, using the couch — not as a gimmick, but because many people find they speak more freely without the pull to read my reactions. This work is slower and less directive than most therapy people have tried. It's not for everyone, and it's not designed as such. It's for people who've done other kinds and want to go further.

Get to know me

In our first session together, here's what you can expect

Our first session is mostly a conversation. I’ll want to hear what brings you in, what you’ve already tried, and what feels unresolved. I don’t move through a fixed agenda; we start with what feels most alive or pressing for you. I’ll ask questions, clarify what I hear, and begin to get a sense of how you make meaning of things. From there, we decide together what direction makes sense.

The biggest strengths that I bring into our sessions

My work is direct, attentive, and rooted in depth psychology. I remember details, make connections, and help people see the logic behind patterns that once felt senseless. I’m equally comfortable sitting in silence or asking hard questions when they’re needed. Many clients find that the process becomes surprisingly creative; we will draw on dreams, languages (if you speak more than one), and cultural history to understand more about what needs to be worked through.

The clients I'm best positioned to serve

You're looking to understand what drives you — not just to feel better, but to know why you do what you do. You're drawn to your own unconscious: the part of you that seems to run the show, especially when things go wrong. Maybe you've hit a ceiling in other therapy and want to go deeper than symptom management or coping skills. You're willing to say what comes to mind without editing it first, even when it's uncomfortable, embarrassing, or feels beside the point. You're curious about your dreams, your slips of the tongue, the things you avoid without quite knowing why. You're not looking for quick fixes, life coaching, or a purely supportive space; you're looking for real change, and you understand that means things may feel more unsettled before they settle. You're coming to this work because you want to, not because a court, partner, or family member is pushing you into it, and not as a supplement to active addiction treatment. You're able to tolerate a process that unfolds gradually, potentially meeting more than once a week as we go, and you're stable enough to engage in open-ended talk therapy without additional support currently required for conditions like psychosis, mania, or dementia. If you're not sure yet what you're looking for in a therapist, figuring that out together is part of the first sessions.

Specialties

Top specialties

Other specialties

Anxiety

Depression

Health/Medical Issues

Identifies as

Man

Serves ages

Licensed in

Accepts

Location

Virtual

My treatment methods

Psychoanalytic

I practice Lacanian psychoanalysis, which centers on the unconscious as structured like a language — attending closely to dreams, slips of the tongue, repetitions, and the specific words a person reaches for or avoids. This differs from Jungian analysis, which draws more on archetypes and a shared collective unconscious, and from relational or psychodynamic approaches, which tend to center the therapeutic relationship itself as the primary vehicle for change. My focus stays on what a client's own speech reveals, over time, about patterns they can't yet see.

Grief Therapy

Attends to loss in its many forms: death, separation, identity shifts, and transitions. My work helps clients make room for grief without rushing toward resolution, finding meaning and continuity in what has been lost.

Trauma Informed Care

Acknowledges how overwhelming experiences affect the nervous system, sense of safety, and capacity for trust. I work at a pace that respects each person’s tolerance for exploration while gradually expanding it.

Existential

Focuses on questions of meaning, purpose, freedom, and mortality. Many people come to therapy during times when life feels empty, uncertain, or disconnected from what once mattered. My approach helps them face those questions rather than bypass them.

Interpersonal

Examines how early and ongoing relationship patterns repeat in the present. Together we notice how these dynamics emerge in therapy itself, using them to deepen insight and create more energizing ways of relating.

, 10 ratings

1 rating with written reviews

April 13, 2026

He is very easy to talk to and a wonderful listener.I really like his honesty and knowing if he is a great fit for me. He seems highly intelligent and a great Therapist for his field of work.

Verified client, age 35-44
Review shared after session 1 with Paul