Where to find a therapist and how to choose someone you connect with

Finding a therapist begins with understanding what you need. That might be someone with specific expertise, a shared identity, or a schedule that works for you. When you’re clear about your needs, it’s easier to focus your search and feel good about your choice.

Where to search for a therapist

Once you’re ready to start looking, the next step is finding where to begin your search. You can search online, check with your insurance, or ask someone you trust for suggestions.

Online therapy platforms

Grow Therapy makes it easy to find licensed therapists who meet your needs. You can filter by insurance, specialty, gender, and more. Then, view therapist profiles and book directly online. Many therapists on Grow’s online therapy platform specialize in areas such as:

• ADHD
• Trauma and PTSD
• Grief
• Depression
• Anxiety

You can also refine results by identity, age, language, treatment method, and schedule. Most providers let you book a session within a few days. The platform helps you manage appointments, payments, and messaging.

Insurance provider tools

Your insurance company may have a list of in-network therapists you can search. You can also call them for help.

Ask your doctor

Your primary care doctor may have a network or list of trusted therapists. They can offer referrals based on your specific needs, preferences, or concerns. In some cases, they may also assess your symptoms, prescribe medication, or work alongside your therapist as part of your care team.

Ask someone you trust

Friends, family members, or coworkers may have therapists they recommend. Hearing about someone’s experience can make it easier to decide who to reach out to.

If you’re guiding someone into therapy, it’s key to help them feel at ease with your suggestions.

Check local community resources

Some non-profits and community health centers offer low-cost mental health services. They may also offer sliding scale fees, which can be especially helpful if you are uninsured.

How to choose the right therapist for you

Finding the right therapist isn’t only about credentials or cost. It’s about connection, someone who helps you feel seen. This part of the process can take time, but when you know what matters most to you, it gets a lot easier to find a good fit.

Think about your personal preferences

Therapy is personal. It’s important to find someone whose style and presence feel supportive to you. This is called the therapeutic alliance, which is the relationship between you and your therapist. The therapeutic alliance plays an important role in how helpful therapy feels.

Before you start your search, take a few minutes to think about what matters most to you, like:

• Do you want someone warm and conversational, or more direct and structured?
• Do you prefer a therapist who understands your background, identity, or values?
• Are you looking for support with something specific, like anxiety, trauma, or relationships?
• Do you prefer a spiritual or faith-based approach? A more clinical one?

You don’t need to have it all figured out, but knowing your preferences can help you narrow things down. This is about what you need to feel supported.

Check the practical details

Once you’ve thought about your personal preferences, it’s time to look at the practical details. The following are some things for you to consider.

License and credentials

Make sure the therapist is appropriately educated, trained, and licensed in the state where you’ll be receiving therapy. They should have at least a master’s degree and be either fully licensed or working under a licensed supervisor.

Also, the letters after a clinician’s name can be confusing, but they tell you about the provider’s training and license type. For example, you might see LPC (licensed professional counselor), LCSW (licensed clinical social worker), or LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapist). If you’re unsure what the credentials mean, it’s okay to ask.

Specialty and experience

Therapists have different areas of focus based on their training and experience. They may work with specific populations, like children, couples, or LGBTQ+ clients, or specialize in certain issues, like trauma, anxiety, or grief.

You can also consider the types of therapy styles they use, such as CBT, EMDR, or trauma-focused therapy. You don’t need to know all the terms, but if you have a specific goal in mind, look for someone with experience in that area.

Schedule and availability

It’s important to find a therapist whose schedule works with yours. Before booking, you may want to ask the following questions:

• Are they accepting new clients?
• Do their available times work for you?
• Do they offer online therapy, in-person, or both?
• Is their office location convenient (for meeting in person)?

Cost and insurance

It’s a good idea to get a clear understanding of the costs upfront. If you know the answers to these questions, you can avoid unexpected bills down the line:

• Are they in-network with your insurance?
• If not, do they offer sliding scale pricing?
• What’s the out-of-pocket cost per session?

11 tips for finding the right therapist

Here’s a quick list you can use as you search for a therapist.

• Define your needs and therapy goals. What do you want to work on? Make a list.
• Set a budget that works for you. Therapy often starts weekly. Pick what’s sustainable.
• Check your insurance. Ask about deductibles and your co-pay per session.
• Learn about credentials. Make sure the therapist is licensed and trained.
• Explore the different types of therapy. Note any that might resonate with you.
• Read therapist bios and profiles. Do they seem like someone you’d be comfortable with?
• Ask questions before booking. Ask about things like their style, availability, and cost.
• Keep track of your top choices. Take notes. What stood out?
• Use the first session to test the fit. Notice if you feel safe, heard, and supported.
• Watch for concerns. If you leave sessions feeling unheard, it might not be the right fit.
• Trust your gut. You don’t have to explain it. If something feels off, keep looking.

Questions to ask while you’re searching

Searching for a potential therapist? You don’t need to wait until your first session to ask important questions. Asking early can show if someone is the right fit for you. This way, you can save time, energy, and money. You might ask things like:

• What’s your style or approach to therapy? This helps you know if they’re more conversational, structured, or goal-focused.
• Do you have experience with [insert your concern here]? Ask if they’ve worked with people facing similar concerns. That way, you know they’re experienced in helping with what you’re going through.
• What’s your availability like? Find out if they’re taking new clients and how soon you can get started. Also, check to make sure their appointment times match your schedule.
• Do you offer virtual, in-person, or hybrid appointments? Some therapists only meet online or in person, while others offer both.
• What’s your fee per session, and do you take insurance? You’ll want to be sure you understand the cost before booking a session. Ask if they accept your insurance as an in-network provider, and if not, whether they offer a sliding scale or payment plan.
• How will we track progress? Ask how they check in on goals and whether therapy is helping.

Questions your therapist might ask you

During your first session, your therapist will ask you a few questions to get to know you. They will work on understanding why you are seeking help. They might ask:

• What brings you to therapy?
• Have you been to therapy before?
• Is there anything specific you would like to focus on?
• What does support look like for you right now?

Signs your therapist is (or isn’t) a good fit

It’s normal to wonder if your therapist is the right match for you. Therapy works best when you feel safe, understood, and supported. If something feels off, trust that it’s okay to question it. Here’s how to tell if your therapist is a good fit or if it might be time to try someone new.

Signs your therapist is a good fit

A good connection with your therapist can greatly impact how supported you feel. When therapy is going well, you’ll notice things like:

• You feel seen and heard
• They’re kind, respectful, and professional
• You feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings
• They help you reflect, grow, and feel more confident
• They show up on time and stay consistent

Signs your therapist may not be a good fit

Sometimes the connection just isn’t there, and that might mean you haven’t found the right fit yet; this may be the case if:

• You feel judged or misunderstood
• You don’t feel comfortable opening up
• You don’t feel like your concerns are being taken seriously
• You often leave sessions feeling worse, not better

Some people worry that switching therapists means that they’re failing therapy, or that it isn’t for them. But that’s just one of the most common myths about therapy. In reality, finding the right person is a normal part of the process.

What to do if you don’t feel connected to your therapist

Not every therapist will be the right match, and that’s okay. It’s normal to try out a few sessions with a therapist, then realize the connection just isn’t there; finding the right therapist sometimes takes more than one try.

• Talk it through – If you’re not sure that your therapist is the right fit, it might be worth having a conversation with them. A good therapist will welcome your honesty. They should be able to adjust their approach or explain things in a new way if needed.
• Find a new therapist – If you’ve given it a fair try and it still doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. It’s okay to move on and keep looking. The right therapist is out there.
• End the relationship – Ending the relationship with your therapist can be uncomfortable, but you don’t have to explain everything in detail. Something like, “Thank you for your support, but I’ve decided to explore a different fit for my needs,” is enough.

If you’re looking for help with what to say, we have a detailed article that takes you through how to end therapy.

Frequently asked questions

Why is it so hard to find a therapist?

You’re not alone if finding a therapist feels harder than you expected. More people are reaching out for mental health care than ever before, and that growing demand means some therapists have limited availability, especially those who take insurance or specialize in certain areas.

It can also take time to find someone who feels like the right fit. Therapy works best when you feel safe and understood, so things like personality and communication style really matter.

The good news? There are tools and resources that can help. Many directories, including Grow Therapy, let you filter by availability, specialty, and identity, making it easier to find someone who meets your needs. It might take a little patience, but the right support is out there, and you deserve to find it.

How can I find a therapist near me?

To find a therapist near you, start your search on Grow Therapy. Enter your location and pick “in-person care” to find someone nearby. You can also check your health insurance website for local providers or ask your doctor. You may also try asking someone you trust for recommendations.

How can I find a therapist who shares my culture or religion?

It can be really helpful to work with someone who shares your background or beliefs. With Grow Therapy, you can filter therapists by ethnicity, religion, and language. This can help you find someone who understands you. You can check with your local community centers or churches for recommendations, too.

How can I find a Black or BIPOC therapist?

Grow Therapy lets you search for therapists based on race and cultural background. There are also other helpful directories like Therapy for Black Girls, Therapy for Black Men, and Therapy in Color. Community organizations and cultural centers can be good resources, too especially if you want someone who understands your lived experience.

How can I find an LGBTQ+ friendly therapist?

Directories like Grow Therapy let you filter for therapists who are LGBTQ+ affirming.
You can even search for specific identities like gender fluid, non-binary, or transgender. Other helpful resources include Gaylesta and Pink Therapy. Local LGBTQ+ centers may also have lists of therapists they trust.

If you’re not sure, you can always ask a therapist about their experience working with LGBTQ+ clients. A supportive therapist will be happy to answer your questions.

Should I see my friend or a family member’s therapist?

Deciding if you should see the same therapist as someone you know depends on several factors. Sadly, there’s no clear answer to this question. If you live in a small town, you might not have many options. When possible, it’s usually better to find your own therapist.

What if my therapist ends up not being a good match for me?

It’s okay if your therapist doesn’t feel like the right match. Not every therapist will be the right fit. You can talk to them about how you’re feeling, or you can start looking for someone else. A good therapist will understand and might even help you find someone who’s a better fit.

Will I have to take medication if I start therapy?

You don’t have to take medication to go to therapy. Many people benefit from talk therapy alone. If you’re curious how therapy and medication can work together, ask your therapist how they approach this.