Finding help for someone else

Written by Grow Therapy

Clinically reviewed by Grow Therapy Clinical Review Team

This article discusses issues of depression, self-harm, and suicide. If you are having an emergency or have thoughts to harm or kill yourself, please call 911, go to your nearest emergency room, or call / text/ chat the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for 24/7 confidential support.

It can be painful to watch a friend, family member, or loved one struggle with mental health issues. As part of their support system, you may wonder how you can encourage them to find professional help. We’ll walk through the steps you can take to help your loved one get the care they need.

What should I do if I think someone needs therapy?

If you think someone you love needs therapy, it can be helpful to talk with them about your own experiences with therapy. You can tell them why you chose to go to therapy, how it helped you, and talk through the benefits of seeing a mental health professional.

If you’re comfortable doing so, it could also be helpful to discuss any myths or misconceptions your loved one might have about therapy. If it feels right, you can share links or articles about how to find a therapist. Don’t pressure them, and above all, communicate with a calm, supportive tone and be sure to stay away from blame and accusations.

If it feels appropriate, you can use specific examples of behaviors or interactions to convey your concern. Conversations with a loved one like you can help normalize therapy and assure the person that they have support.

How can I convince someone to go to therapy?

Remember that you can’t force anyone to go to therapy. Instead, focus on offering gentle, consistent support by asking open-ended questions and listening carefully. You can offer to help them find a mental health professional, and make sure they understand that therapy is confidential and that they can seek support through different options like online therapy and support groups.

If they seem to be interested in therapy but are concerned about the cost, you can help them find a therapist that’s covered by their insurance on Grow Therapy. Additionally, you can offer to help them research a provider who accepts sliding fee scales with organizations such as Open Path Collective.

Can someone I know see my therapist?

Whether or not someone in your life should see the same therapist as you depends on several factors: your relationship with the friend or family member, how much the therapist knows about them through you (which could affect their objectivity), and your loved one’s access to other providers.

For example, if they live in a rural area with fewer therapists, it may be challenging to find a provider who doesn’t also treat someone else they know. Ideally, a therapist should remain unbiased, and if they’re also working with a potential client’s friend or family member, it may be hard for them to remain objective. If possible, seek referrals to other providers. If not, the therapist should decide based on their ability to provide quality care.

What should I do if someone I know is suicidal?

It can be upsetting and frightening if someone in your life is thinking or talking about suicide. Despite old ideas about this being “attention-seeking” behavior, indications of self-harm or suicide should be taken seriously. Talking to your loved one is the best choice — you don’t need to worry about asking questions “planting the idea” in their head.

You can ask them about what’s been happening in their life, how they’ve been feeling, and whether they’re thinking about dying. In addition, you can be on the lookout for warning signs, which include (but are not limited to) direct statements about suicide, obtaining means (such as a weapon or substances), and giving away belongings.

This article from the Mayo Clinic offers more questions to ask and signs to watch out for. Crisis hotlines that can help include the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text), and Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).

What if my loved one needs help with addiction?

If your friend or family member is struggling with addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or other behaviors, you’re not alone. Millions of people have substance use and behavioral addiction disorders, and the process of trying to support someone in active addiction can quickly become overwhelming.

What you can do is avoid judgment, provide reassurance, and state your commitment to them and their recovery. Let them know that you can help them find counseling when they’re ready. Because addiction is such a powerful force in relationships, it can be helpful for loved ones of people with addiction to receive therapy as well.

Therefore, the first step is not necessarily approaching your loved one about your concerns for them, but rather it is making sure you have the proper support in place for yourself, whether that is therapy, a 12-step group like Al Anon, or both.

Next up in A Guide to Getting Therapy

Myths and misconceptions about therapy

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This article is not meant to be a replacement for medical advice. We recommend speaking with a therapist for personalized information about your mental health. If you don’t currently have a therapist, we can connect you with one who can offer support and address any questions or concerns. If you or your child is experiencing a medical emergency, is considering harming themselves or others, or is otherwise in imminent danger, you should dial 9-1-1 and/or go to the nearest emergency room.