Demetria Deary
I'm a unicorn therapist: Black, queer, femme, AuDHD, and straight outta Compton. I bring my whole self into the therapy room and welcome you to do the same. My practice is grounded in liberation psychology, ancestral wisdom, cultural humility, and neurodivergent-affirming care. I work primarily with adults navigating the intersections of race, identity, neurodivergence, trauma, relationships, and survival in systems that weren't designed with us in mind.
Healing isn't about becoming more acceptable to the world. It's about reclaiming the power to decide who you are and how you want to live.
I believe healing isn't about becoming more acceptable to the world around you. It's about discovering who you are, understanding what has shaped you, and reclaiming the power to decide how you want to live. You don't have to make yourself smaller, more palatable, or more convenient to work with me.
First session
I require a consultation before accepting new clients, because therapeutic fit matters to both of us. By the time we have our first session, we'll already have discussed your needs, my approach, and what working together might look like. Our initial sessions are about building a relationship, understanding your experiences, and exploring what brings you to therapy. I value direct communication, transparency, and collaboration. You're welcome to ask questions, disagree with me, request clarification, or tell me when something isn't working. We don't have to rush into painful experiences or immediately begin dismantling your entire life. There will be times when I even push the pause button because I think it would be better to give you the grounding and regulatory tools you need first before diving into the deep end of your trauma and pain. We'll work together to establish a pace and approach that respects your needs, capacity, and autonomy.
Strengths
I don't think I'm a unicorn because I'm magical (although I do believe in Black Girl and Ancestral magic!). I think we live in a world where authenticity, directness, and genuine curiosity are less common than they should be. I bring humor, compassion, pattern recognition, cultural awareness, creativity, and a willingness to challenge the things we've been taught to accept as normal. I'm particularly good at helping people connect the dots between their experiences, beliefs, relationships, identities, and the larger systems shaping their lives. I don't have loyalty to any single therapeutic modality. My loyalty is to the person sitting across from me. I draw from different approaches, ask questions, share observations, and adapt our work to what actually helps. And yes, I can be direct. Sometimes very direct. But I believe people deserve honesty, transparency, and meaningful collaboration—not a therapist who simply nods along while they're suffering.
Ideal clients
I don't work well with everyone, and I'm perfectly comfortable with that. The people I tend to work best with are BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, Autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, and survivors of things no one should ever have had to survive. Many have spent their lives adapting to other people's expectations, questioning their own needs, carrying responsibilities that were never theirs, or trying to survive environments that demand too much while offering too little. You might be questioning everything you were taught about yourself, struggling with burnout, navigating complicated relationships, or realizing that the life you've built doesn't actually fit the person you are. You don't need to have everything figured out. You don't even have to know where to begin. But curiosity helps. So does a willingness to question long-held beliefs, explore uncomfortable patterns, and participate in creating change. I can be direct, irreverent, and challenging. I'm also compassionate, creative, and very comfortable sitting with life's messiness. If you're looking for someone to help you become more compliant with harmful expectations, I'm probably not your therapist. If you're interested in understanding yourself and expanding your choices, we might get along beautifully.
Treatment methods
Integrative
I draw from multiple therapeutic traditions, including narrative, somatic, cognitive, schema-focused and trauma-informed approaches, while incorporating liberation psychology and neurodivergent-affirming perspectives. Rather than requiring clients to fit a particular treatment model, I adapt the work to their experiences, needs, cultural context, and goals.
Strength-Based
Many of my clients have spent years hearing what's wrong with them. I'm interested in what has helped them survive, adapt, create, resist, and persist. We identify existing strengths, examine when survival strategies have become too costly, and explore how those strengths can support you in building the life you actually want to live.
Racial trauma treatment
I work with my clients on exploring and processing the trauma of existing in racist systems. Racism isn't simply an interpersonal experience; it's also structural, institutional, historical, and intergenerational. I help clients explore how racialized experiences have shaped their beliefs, bodies, relationships, sense of safety, and opportunities for self-determination. Our work emphasizes healing without requiring people to minimize or normalize oppression.
Culturally Sensitive Therapy
All of my approaches are culturally humble and informed by each client's unique cultural identity. Culture isn't an accessory to therapy; it's part of how we understand ourselves and the world. I approach clients with cultural humility and curiosity, recognizing the influence of race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, disability, community, ancestry, and lived experience. I don't assume Western psychological norms are universal or inherently superior.
Eclectic
I use what works, not what's fashionable or trendy. My approach draws from Western psychological theories alongside traditional, indigenous, ancestral, creative, and embodied ways of knowing. I'm interested in helping clients find meaningful approaches to healing rather than prescribing one supposedly correct way to get there.
Location
Virtual sessions
Identifies as
Top specialties
Other specialties
Serves
Doesn't specialize in
Licensed in
- CaliforniaLicense 17395
- ColoradoLicense LPC.0017443