Anyone who’s ever lost someone or something important to them knows how painful it can be. Grief can feel like a mix of emotions: all-consuming sadness, guilt, anger, and more. It turns your whole world upside down, and it isn’t easy to feel “normal” again.
On August 30th every year, we observe National Grief Awareness Day to raise awareness about the importance of understanding and supporting the grieving process.
Read on to learn about National Grief Awareness Day, the importance of acknowledging grief, the mental health impacts of grief, how to help someone who’s grieving, and more.
Introduction to National Grief Awareness Day
This “holiday” was created in 2014 by grief expert Angie Cartwright. Since losing multiple people who were close to her, she personally learned a lot about the grieving process and has been raising awareness and educating people around the world on how to manage grief and move forward.
Organizations such as the American Psychological Association and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention recognize the holiday and promote healthy, open conversations surrounding grief.
Understanding grief
The American Psychological Association defines grief as “the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person.” It’s part of the human experience – a natural response to loss, and it can be incredibly painful. However, it can also be complex and multifaceted, complete with mixed emotions and complicated feelings.
Stages of grief
Grief is often not a linear journey; waves of emotions don’t always happen in any particular order. The five stages of grief, defined by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, are:
Denial: When you can’t accept the reality of your loss, or you totally avoid thinking about it or talking about it.
Anger: Upon accepting the loss, you might feel great anger with yourself or others, such as medical professionals who were involved. Or, you might even blame yourself for the death.
Bargaining: This is when you might have thoughts like, “What if I took my loved one to a better doctor? Would they still be here today?” or “If only I noticed the signs they were sick earlier…” You might even find yourself making deals with God or another higher power.
Depression: Once you’ve moved through the other stages, you may feel intense sadness surrounding the loss, which is totally normal. In the throes of grief and depression, you may feel like you don’t enjoy things you used to, worthlessness, guilt, hopelessness, and more.
Acceptance: Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with the loss – rather, it means you’ve come to terms with it, and you can move forward with life. Still, the loss will stick with you, but in a healthy way where you can function.
Types of grief
Understanding the different types of grief and their manifestations can help in managing the grieving process more healthily and effectively. Three main types of grief are:
Anticipatory grief: This occurs before the actual death happens. It’s common in cases of terminal illness when you know the loss is imperative. You may grieve in advance while you prepare for the upcoming loss of your loved one.
Complicated grief: This is when grief goes beyond what is considered “typical.” You might feel like you can’t move through all the stages of grief, like you’re stuck feeling unable to move on from the loss. You might feel extreme sadness, or you may have trouble focusing on anything other than the loss. You could also develop mental health conditions such as depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Disenfranchised: This is a form of grief that isn’t as recognized or validated by society at large. It could relate to the loss of a pet or having a miscarriage. These losses can be just as painful as losing a human loved one.
Ways to observe National Grief Awareness Day
Looking to raise awareness and compassion around grief? National Grief Awareness Day is a perfect opportunity.
There are many ways to participate in National Grief Awareness Day. You can make a difference by creating a better understanding surrounding grief, as well as expressing support for those who are grieving. Here are a few ideas:
Educational workshops and seminars: Contact local mental health organizations or clinics to see if they have any workshops or seminars you can attend. You can even get involved in helping to host them or volunteer. These events provide valuable resources and information for people coping with loss, as well as the loved ones of those who are grieving.
Social media campaigns and spreading awareness online: Use your platform for good. You can share infographics, educational content, personal stories of loss, and supportive messages. This creates awareness, opens up conversation, and creates a sense of community.
Personal reflection and journaling exercises: Feel like you have grief to process? Taking time to reflect on personal experiences with grief through journaling or other creative outlets can be therapeutic and help process emotions. You could also use this as a time to finally seek professional support if you’ve been struggling and this is something you’ve been putting off.
How therapy can help with grief
Therapy is an incredible, transformative method to help you cope with grieving. Especially when you work with a mental health professional specializing in grief, you will learn effective tools for coping, processing, and moving forward. “Therapy helps by allowing that space to share the hardest and darkest emotions, and it helps with teaching skills to manage those emotions,” says Jen Garvin, licensed mental health counselor with Grow Therapy.
The importance of acknowledging grief
“Feelings of grief can be debilitating, which leads to us wanting to hide those emotions away and not feel them,” says Garvin. “However, it is best to acknowledge and work through those feelings so that true healing can occur and so we can learn appropriate and healthy skills to process the loss.”
Emotional and physical effects of unacknowledged grief
Ignoring grief can result in unresolved emotional pain, depression, and even physical pain and discomfort. For example, especially in the case of complicated grief, you could experience symptoms such as:
Headaches
Nausea
Upset stomach
Tightness in the chest
Dizziness
Tension
Fatigue
Processing your grief in therapy can help reduce the emotional and physical pain in the long run.
Therapy for grief
There are some forms of therapy that may be especially helpful for grief, such as:
Therapy is incredibly effective for grief because it provides a safe space to process a loss while learning invaluable coping skills. By working with a specialized mental health professional, you can navigate your grief process more effectively with better support as you find the path to moving forward.
You may also consider support groups or group therapy to cope with grief. Call your local mental health centers to ask if they hold any grief/bereavement support groups.
The intersection of grief and mental health
Grief has an undeniable impact on mental health. For example, someone who has never experienced depression before may find themselves grappling with depressive symptoms even long after a significant loss. It’s also possible for grief to exacerbate pre-existing mental health conditions. “When we add in the stress from grief with another mental health condition then we are doubling the stress that is already in play. It can lead to higher amounts of anxiety, depression, and more,” Garvin says.
The overlap between grief and mental health issues can create a complex experience for those affected. This is why it’s crucial to address both aspects at once to keep your mental well-being in check.
Because grief and mental health are so closely connected, integrating grief therapy with treatment for mental health disorders can offer more holistic support to address your emotions fully. This way, the intense emotions surrounding grief and the symptoms of mental health conditions are tackled together. Through this approach, you’ll learn how to cope with and manage the symptoms related to both grief and whatever other condition you may be facing.
Supporting someone who is grieving
It’s crucial to show support, empathy, and compassion to a grieving loved one. Here are a few quick tips to help a grieving friend, family member, or partner.
Let them know you’re here for them: Remind them they aren’t going through this alone. Tell them that you are here to lend an ear if they want to talk about their feelings or anything they’re going through.
Be an active listener: Pay attention when they speak and listen for the sake of listening, not to chime in with your own two cents or unsolicited advice. Listening without judgment and offering compassion can be much more supportive to a grieving person than offering solutions or advice.
Validate their feelings: Let them know it’s valid to feel however they’re feeling. The grieving process isn’t linear, and they may experience a roller coaster of emotions. Acknowledge that what they’re going through is very difficult, and you’re here to support them however you can.
Help out in practical ways: Grief can make it hard to carry out day-to-day tasks. Offer help with cooking meals (or grabbing them some take-out), babysitting, or house cleaning — whatever you can offer that can lighten their load.
Be patient with them: Grief isn’t always a straightforward process. Everyone processes grief differently, and some take longer than others to move on from a loss. Don’t rush your loved one or push them to move on. Let them process at their own pace.
Lesser-known aspects of grief
While grief is a universal human experience and an inevitable part of life, it manifests differently depending on factors such as age, culture, and even the influence of technology.
Grief in children and adolescents
Grief can hit young people hard – but it doesn’t always present the same way it does in adults. Young kids don’t have the vocabulary or emotional maturity to articulate their feelings, which results in grief being expressed through changes in behavior. Some examples of how younger children express grief are:
Acting clingy
Regressing to younger behavior
Tantrums or outbursts
Stomach aches or headaches
Trouble sleeping
Nightmares
Loss of appetite
Talking about death or asking a lot of questions about death
Teens, on the other hand, might withdraw, act out, or struggle with academic performance. If you have a child or teen who’s grieving, keep an eye on them for any changes to mood or behavior. Show your support and let them know you’re here to help.
Cultural differences in grieving practices
Different cultures have different ways of grieving. These differences are influenced by religious beliefs, social norms, and historical traditions. For example, in certain cultures, sadness and grief are expressed very openly, and it’s common to be outwardly emotional and mourn for a long period of time. In other cultures, grief is expressed more privately.
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Understand that if someone’s grieving process is highly different from yours, it could be due to their cultural background – and that’s okay.
The impact of social media on grieving
Social media adds another layer to grieving. The impact is two-fold. Many people love how social media can feel like a supportive community where people grieving a shared loved one can come together and share memories and send and receive condolences. Of course, it’s nice to have photos of your loved ones to keep as memories, too.
However, social media also has the potential to bring you more constant reminders than you’d like about the dead, such as Facebook memories, tagged photos, or even birthday notifications. Depending on the individual, they could find this comforting or upsetting.
It’s important to find a balance with social media to maintain your well-being while grieving.
Finding a qualified grief therapist
Looking for professional help for grief, but not sure where to start? Grow Therapy can help you discover the right therapist who can help transform your life and improve your mental health. Moving forward and thriving after loss is possible with therapy.
About Ashley Laderer
Ashley Laderer has been a mental health advocate since 2016, when she first publicly wrote about her own battle with anxiety and depression. After hearing how others were impacted by her story, she decided to continue writing about anything and everything mental health. Since then, she’s been published in Teen Vogue, SELF, Refinery29, NYLON, VICE, Healthline, Insider, and more.
