Licensed to practice in New York and accepts 10 insurances. Specializes in Anxiety, Trauma and PTSD, Self Esteem and 6 more.
Melissa Mendez
(she/her)
New to Grow
About me
Hi, I’m glad you’re here. I’m a New York-based therapist (BSW/MSW from Syracuse University) with a decade of experience, and the founder of the Clinically Petty brand. What does Clinically Petty mean? It means we take your healing seriously, but we don't take ourselves too seriously. It’s about creating a safe, virtual space where you can validate the small stuff, call out the absurdities of life, and ditch the pressure to perform or "be perfect." My practice is built for anyone who has ever felt "othered"—especially folks in the LGBTQ+ community, those exploring alternative relationship styles, neurodivergent individuals, and anyone living with trauma or anxiety. I don't sit back, nod silently, or hide behind clinical jargon. I combine evidence-based tools (like CBT, Narrative Therapy, and Motivational Interviewing) with real human connection, sharp humor, and zero judgment. We won't just analyze why you're stuck—we'll work as a team to help you break free from societal labels and build a life that feels safe, balanced, and unapologetically yours. My Philosophy: "Healed doesn't mean flawless—it just means you're wise enough to set your boundaries, laugh at the chaos, and protect your peace at all costs."
Get to know me
In our first session together, here's what you can expect
Your first session is all about taking the pressure off. You don't need to have a polished presentation or act like you've got it all together—just show up as you are, full Clinically Petty energy allowed. We’ll use our first session to get to know each other, laugh a little, talk through what’s going on in your world, and figure out what you actually want out of therapy. You'll get a feel for my direct, humorous style (and likely catch a glimpse of my co-therapist, my dog Gio, lounging in the background). My goal is for you to walk away from session one feeling heard, relieved, and confident that you have a real partner in your corner who gets it.
The biggest strengths that I bring into our sessions
Therapy only works if you can drop the mask. My biggest strength is leaning into that Clinically Petty approach—combining clinical expertise with grounded, relatable humor. Real Talk & Humor: Healing can be heavy, but it doesn't have to be clinical or dreary. I bring authenticity, witty perspective, and practical advice to help you process life without feeling like you're in a doctor's office. Focus on Action: Unpacking the past is key, but so is figuring out how to handle the small, annoying stuff today. We focus on practical, actionable strategies to manage anxiety and navigate life in real time. True Inclusivity: I don't expect you to fit into a neat diagnostic box. I meet you where you are, validating your full identity, your relationships, and your unique way of moving through the world.
The clients I'm best positioned to serve
My ideal client is someone who is utterly exhausted from pretending they have it all together. You might be navigating trauma, anxiety, neurodivergence, or identity journeys within the LGBTQ+ or alternative relationship communities. Maybe you’ve spent years feeling "othered," over-functioning, or trying to squeeze yourself into boxes built by societal expectations, past diagnoses, or family dynamics. Mindset-wise, you don't need to show up with answers or a polished self-help vocabulary—you just need a willingness to be real. You’re ready to stop just talking about your patterns and actually start shifting them. You’re open to direct feedback, practical strategies, and a good laugh at the absurdities of life along the way. Your goals? You want to stop letting anxiety or old hurts make your choices. You want to learn how to set firm boundaries without guilt, validate your own experience (even the "petty" parts), and build a life that feels safe, balanced, and unapologetically your own. If you’re ready to drop the mask, put down the weight of everyone else’s expectations, and do the real work together—you’re in the right place.
Specialties
Top specialties
Anxiety
Self Esteem
Trauma and PTSD
Other specialties
ADHD
Autism
Child or Adolescent
Depression
LGBTQ
School Issues
Identifies as
Hispanic / Latinx
LGBTQ
Multiracial
Person of Color (POC)
Spiritual but not religious
Woman
Serves ages
Adults (18 to 64)
Elders (65 and above)
Teenagers (13 to 17)
Licensed in
New York
Accepts
Arlo
Cash - $100 per session
Centivo
Cigna
Cigna - HealthEZ
EAP:Cigna
EAP:Evernorth
Evernorth
GTEB
Tufts Health/Cigna
Location
Virtual
My treatment methods
Acceptance and commitment (ACT)
I use ACT to help you stop spending all your energy waging war against your own brain. Instead of trying to force yourself to "just think positive" or waste time wrestling with anxious thoughts, ACT is about changing your relationship with those thoughts. We acknowledge that inconvenient, frustrating, or downright chaotic emotions are part of being human—and that it’s completely fine to be annoyed by them (that's the Clinically Petty way). Here is how we bring ACT into our work: Defusion (Dropping the Struggle): We learn how to untangle yourself from brain spirals so thoughts like "I'm going to ruin this" or "Everyone thinks I'm weird" lose their power over your actions. Radical Acceptance: Stop wasting energy fighting the reality of a situation or beating yourself up for having a human reaction to stress. We validate the feeling, then figure out what to do next. Values-Based Action: We identify what actually matters to you—not what your family, society, or an old diagnosis told you should matter—and build practical, daily steps toward living a life aligned with those core values. In short, ACT isn't about eliminating bad days; it's about making sure uncomfortable thoughts and feelings don't get to sit in the driver's seat anymore.
Attachment-based
I use Attachment-Based Therapy to help you figure out why you react the way you do in relationships—whether that’s running for the hills at the first sign of closeness, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, or bending over backward to keep the peace.Our early experiences and past relationships create invisible "blueprints" for how we navigate trust, connection, and conflict. If your past taught you that emotional safety was rare, inconsistent, or conditional, it makes total sense that your brain defaults to hypervigilance or withdrawal now.Here is how we put attachment theory into practice:Mapping Your Relationship Patterns: We look at how you handle intimacy, conflict, and boundaries today without judgment or shame. We call out the old survival strategies that served you in the past but are now just exhausting you.Building a Secure Base: Therapy becomes a laboratory where you can experience a consistent, safe, and authentic connection—so you can practice speaking up, being vulnerable, and dropping the mask in real time.Earned Security: You don't have to be stuck with an anxious or avoidant attachment style forever. We work on rewriting those internal blueprints so you can feel grounded, set clear boundaries, and build relationships where you actually feel safe, seen, and secure.In short: we get to the root of why you protect yourself the way you do, so you can stop repeating old cycles and start getting what you actually need out of your relationships.
Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
I use CBT to help you catch your brain when it’s lying to you or spiraling into catastrophic worst-case scenarios. Our brains love to build automatic pathways based on stress, past trauma, or societal pressure—often convincing us of things that just aren't true. CBT isn't about forced "toxic positivity"; it's about getting real with your thoughts. We analyze the connection between what you think, what you feel, and how you react, giving you practical, real-world strategies to interrupt anxiety spirals and reframe unhelpful patterns in real time.
Culturally Sensitive Therapy
Your lived experience doesn't happen in a vacuum, and therapy shouldn't pretend it does either. Culturally Sensitive Therapy means I actively acknowledge how systemic oppression, racism, marginalization, and societal norms impact your mental health. I don't ask you to leave your background, culture, or identity at the door. Instead, we center your full identity, honoring your unique heritage and lived experiences while dismantling the cultural pressure or guilt you might be carrying.
Dialectical Behavior (DBT)
I use DBT skills to help you navigate big, intense emotions without feeling like you're going to explode or completely shut down. Life can be chaotic, and sometimes our emotional reactions hit 100 before we even realize what happened. DBT gives you a concrete, practical toolkit for distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. It’s all about holding two truths at once: accepting where you are right now and actively working on changing the habits that aren't serving you.