Did you know that in the United States, the divorce rate is approximately 2.5 per 1,000 people?
Whether in marriage or not, relationships are hard work. So many challenges can arise when two people come together. It can be hard to communicate honestly and openly. There may be disagreements, arguments, and intense emotions. Sometimes, problems like infidelity, intimacy, finances, or parenting may put enormous stress on everyone involved.
Thankfully, there are professional therapists out there who work with couples to deal with issues like these. With the rise of technology, online relationship counseling is becoming a popular choice for busy people. Read on to learn more about what couples counseling involves and what options are available online.
What is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is sometimes also called relationship counseling or marriage counseling. Couples therapy often involves a therapist meeting with two people in a relationship, differing from individual therapy, in which a person works with a therapist one-on-one. During marriage counseling sessions, the therapist will discuss issues that may challenge the relationship to create a healthier one.
Does couples counseling work? Yes, it certainly can: studies often show that couples therapy can help reduce relationship distress.
Common Problems that Relationship Counseling can Impact
There are many types of relationship issues that counseling can help with:
Communication
Working on communication and conflict resolution skills is commonly involved, which can lead to a healthier relationship. Such skills include problem-solving or learning to express emotions in healthy ways.
Anger or Aggression
Anger and aggression are other common issues that relationship counselors can help with. Left unaddressed, anger and aggression can negatively affect a relationship. Aggression can be physical, like hitting or causing injury, or psychological, like verbal abuse or threats.
Couples counselors may address these issues by developing anger management skills like recognizing anger and its triggers and learning to take time-outs or other techniques to help regulate intense emotions.
Infidelity
Infidelity and extramarital affairs are major problems that can lead couples to divorce or separate. Couples therapy sessions for these issues might begin with helping couples cope with their emotions, behaviors, and everyday lives after discovering or disclosing an affair. The marriage therapist can help both individuals figure out what factors led to the affair and then facilitate a conversation between the couple about how to move forward.
Intimacy
Intimacy and sexual difficulties may also be an issue a licensed counselor can help with. Qualified therapists may offer sex therapy to help improve a couple’s sex lives. On the other hand, intimacy-related matters do not always focus on sex alone; intimacy therapy for couples can sometimes focus on communication and desire.
Mental Health
Sometimes, couples therapy also involves discussing physical and mental health conditions that may affect a relationship. Whether they affect one or both people in the relationship, physical and mental health issues such as substance use disorders, mood and anxiety disorders, pain, disability, and terminal illness can often be a source of distress and conflict.
Other Concerns
Other concerns that may come up in romantic relationships include:
- Financial issues
- Parenting
- Navigating unique relationship arrangements (e.g., LGBTQIA relationships and blended families)
- Premarital counseling
- End of marriage counseling
Types of Therapists for Relationship Counseling
Many different types of licensed therapists, marriage counselors, and mental health professionals can help with relationship counseling, including:
- Psychiatrists (MD, DO)
- Psychologists (PhD)
- Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW)
- Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC)
- Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT)
Insurance providers may have different rules about what professional counselors they will pay for. Check with your insurance to see what coverage you’re eligible for.
How Does Couples Therapy Work?
Couples therapy sessions are commonly weekly sessions of about one hour each. The number of sessions needed depends on the couple and the relationship concerns involved. Sometimes, a few sessions over a few weeks is enough; sometimes, therapy is needed for several months.
There are a wide range of formats that couples therapy sessions can take on, but the main objectives usually involve:
- Both partners seeing the relationship as a shared endeavor rather than being one-sided or blaming.
- Regulating emotions.
- Sharing emotions.
- Improving communication skills.
- Increasing strength and resilience.
Types of Relationship Counseling
Relationship therapists can use many different therapy approaches, and the right type of therapy differs for clients’ unique needs. Here are a few examples:
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- Emotion-Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT) helps couples express, understand, and regulate emotions such as feeling hurt, inadequate, unloved, disrespected, or unappreciated.
- Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT) focuses on making positive behavioral changes within a relationship.
- Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT) builds on BCT but also emphasizes emotional acceptance rather than focusing on behavior change by itself.
- Integrated Systemic Couple Therapy (IST / ISCT) tries to change negative cycles of interaction by re-framing interactions in more positive ways.
- Family Therapy explores the impact that individuals have on a larger family system, particularly if there are other family members involved in addition to the couple in a relationship, such as children or extended family.
- Narrative Therapy helps couples think about their relationship and their lives in ways that are more helpful and meaningful.
- Psychodynamic Psychotherapy helps couples to understand their unconscious motivations and to work toward meaningful change and growth.
- Solution-Focused Brief Therapy focuses on finding solutions to current problems that can be addressed in the short term.
- The Gottman Method of couples therapy focuses on friendship, conflict management, and shared meaning in a relationship.
- Reflective Listening is a way of communicating that promotes empathy, trust, relationship building, and motivation.
- Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps couples understand and adjust their patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
- Discernment Counseling is usually used for couples who are in disagreement about whether to stay together or separate. The goal is to understand both partners’ points of view and decide on actions for moving forward.
- Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) tries to build empathy in a relationship by practicing dialogue and other exercises.
Online Couples and Marriage Therapy
Online services are now easily available for couples counseling services. The use of virtual counseling services is part of a new type of health care called telemental health care.
Online relationship therapy usually involves meeting with a couples therapist using online therapy platforms that offer video sessions. Studies have found that videoconferencing can be as effective as in-person therapy for couples counseling.
3 Advantages of Online Couples and Marriage Therapy
Online couples therapy can have many advantages over in-person sessions. Below are three advantages couples have when they take part in online marriage counseling sessions:
1. Convenience
Online therapy platforms are usually accessed from a computer or mobile phone. That means that people can access it from wherever is most convenient for them, whether it be at home or on the go. Virtual therapy sessions may also be more convenient if individuals live in different locations or remote regions where counselors may be unavailable or if they are traveling.
2. Technological Tools
Online couples therapy also comes with the benefit of new technologies that can improve the therapy experience. For example, the online therapy platform may have links to online educational materials or provide reminders or notifications for follow-ups.
3. Cost-Effectiveness
Online counseling may also be more cost-effective for some people. Being able to attend a therapy session from a computer or phone may help save costs that would have been spent on things like gas, public transit, or parking.
Challenges of Online Couples and Marriage Therapy
Everything has its pros and cons, and online therapy is no exception. Virtual therapy services rely on technology, which can come with its own difficulties:
- A strong and stable internet connection is often required for online sessions to run smoothly. If there are connection issues, it can disrupt the flow of the therapy session and take time and troubleshooting to fix.
- Some people do not feel comfortable with using technology like the internet, computers, or applications.
- It is also necessary to have the proper equipment, like a laptop or a mobile phone, that can operate the online therapy platform. Not everyone has access to these, particularly people who may be financially disadvantaged.
- Finally, there is the issue of privacy and confidentiality when using online services. Most online therapists use secured platforms for privacy and security, but be sure to double-check with your therapist.
Seeking Help, Together
Online couples therapy can be an effective way to reduce stress and conflict in a relationship. Therapists usually work with both partners to bring harmony and strength to the relationship and help provide tips for managing emotions and improving communication.
There are many different types of relationship counseling to choose from, depending on personal preferences and the experience of the therapist you decide to work with. Check out our other articles to learn how to find the right couples therapist for your relationship.
At Grow Therapy, we make it easy to find a therapist who’s right for you and your partner. Check out our online search tool to find a therapist near you who specializes in couples and marriage therapy.
