Picture this: A lot has been going on in your life, and you decide to seek help from a therapist. However, along the way, things start to unfold, and you start feeling as if therapy is not working. You think about the treatment journey and realize things are not as expected. As a result, you begin to wonder whether to continue with therapy or terminate it.
There are many reasons why you would end therapy, just as when you would want to start. But how do you know it’s the right time to make the call? This post discusses signs that will help you understand when to stop therapy and what to know before making the final decision.
How Do You Know Therapy is Not Working?
It’s easy to tell when therapy is working well if you meet your specific goals. You will have new insights, and see your life change. However, noticing when therapy isn’t going as expected may be difficult.
According to Joanne Snyder, a licensed professional counselor at Grow Therapy, “Therapy may not be as effective if you depend on your therapist or seek your counselor for answers rather than knowing they are somewhere in yourself. You may feel and live stuck over and over again.”
Although these following signs may mean that therapy is ineffective, it is usually recommended to bring these concerns to your therapist. A seasoned therapist should be comfortable having conversations with clients regarding changing tactics and behaviors to meet their clients’ needs more effectively.
If your current therapist isn’t a good match, they might give you strong referrals and recommendations to others who may better fit you.
Therapy may not be working if:
You Struggle In-between Therapy Sessions
Sometimes, it’s okay to feel unwell in between therapy sessions. You are sharing painful experiences for the first time, and they may affect your emotions. The best thing to do is share with your therapist. If they don’t help develop a problem solving plan including learning and practicing coping skills to deal with difficult emotions and experiences outside therapy, that’s a sign the provider isn’t right for you.
You Feel Unheard and Misunderstood
A feeling that your therapist hears and understands your situation is vital in psychotherapy. Your healing progress may be delayed if you feel that a provider is not actively listening to you or comprehending your painful moments. You may notice this through a general sense of distraction, interruptions, or absence of eye contact.
Since therapy is a dialogue, therapists should listen to feedback and adjust their style. Bring these observations up and see if the provider will be more attentive in therapy. If they don’t, then you can decide to end therapy. This also helps you to practice assertiveness skills.
Your provider’s preconceived opinions and biases may affect their ability to understand your situation, making you feel unheard.
You Feel Judged
A strong therapeutic relationship is made through trust, which is key to the success of your treatment. If the alliance is not solid, it would be hard to progress. Having problems sharing your emotions or connecting with your psychotherapist can impede your therapeutic process.
Fear of feeling judged may lead to a lack of trust and connection, preventing effective cooperation with your therapist. If you feel safe, albeit anxious, notify your therapist about the feeling so you can address it together. If the provider is harsh or says judgmental things, that could be grounds for termination.
There’s a Lack of Progress
Psychotherapy aims at encouraging positive changes and promoting personal development. However, you may be visiting your therapist’s office for a considerable amount of time and still don’t feel any difference. It could mean the treatment is not effectively addressing your intended therapy goals. For example, you may fail to leave old patterns or implement learned skills.
However, explore any objective data with your therapist first. That is, if you’re completing regular assessments as part of measurement-based care, observe trends over time. If you haven’t made stable, measurable progress, it could be time to end your therapy.
You Are Not Learning New Coping Strategies
Therapy can help you learn how to handle your emotions, modify behaviors, and improve your problem solving skills. Therapy should also offer understanding and tools that foster positive change. If you feel you’re not learning anything new, it could be a sign that the treatment is ineffective for your unique needs.
Lack of Motivation to Attend Therapy Sessions
While feeling occasional resistance to therapy is common, consistently lacking enthusiasm for therapy is a sign something is wrong. Lack of motivation for treatment may be due to a difference in therapy goals or even a disconnection with your therapist.
“Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see immediate results; personal growth and change take time. However, if you don’t see tangible progress towards your goals, have unchanged or worsening symptoms, or it feels like you have a strained therapeutic relationship with your provider, it may be time to seek a new provider or a different form of therapy.” Explains Gennifer Williams, a licensed clinical social worker at Grow Therapy.
If you have a good rapport with your therapist but lack motivation to attend therapy sessions, there are things that can be done. Ideally, you and the therapist would recognize that motivation is an issue, and work to improve it together. If you’re struggling with motivation and it’s affecting your therapeutic tasks, e.g., showing up on therapy on time, you could bring this up and ask to engage in collaborative problem-solving first.
Signs it is Time to Stop Therapy
Joanna Snyder says, “You should end your therapy when you and your therapist have decided you are closer to a conclusion. You and your therapist can work together to close this important relationship.” It is part of the process to have a final session to thank the provider for all you have learned. If you feel you have moved on and your concerns are fully addressed, that’s when to stop therapy.” she adds.
While making an improvement is one reason to end therapy, there are also red flags you might consider leaving prematurely. For instance:
- You feel bored.
- Your interactions include small talk and become chattier, where you focus on trivial or unimportant discussions.
- Violation of confidentiality .
- Overly ambitious promises, e.g., ‘You’ll be cured in five sessions.’
- Lack of relevant training, licensure, and credentials.
- Inappropriate self-disclosure.
It is important to raise your concerns with your therapist despite how anxiety-provoking they may be. Therapists are trained to discuss the therapy process and actively seek and integrate feedback.
Some therapists will check in with you regularly about the progress of therapy, which presents a natural opportunity. If your counselor doesn’t do that, you can bring up the concern at the beginning of the session using assertive I-statement language. For example, you may say, ‘I’m noticing that we spend time in our sessions talking about you and your life and would like to focus more on me and my experience.’
In cases of ethical or legal violations, such as violations of confidentiality, it may also be appropriate to have a direct and honest conversation with your therapist about your concerns. However, it is essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe talking to your therapist, consider seeking support from a mental health advocate, legal counsel, or the relevant licensing board to address the issue. Your therapist’s licensing board or regulatory body can provide guidance on how to proceed in these situations.
Ultimately, the decision to continue or discontinue therapy with a therapist who has committed an ethical or legal violation is a highly personal one. It is important to consult with trusted individuals, such as other mental health professionals, friends, or family members, and prioritize your own safety and well-being throughout the process. If you choose to continue therapy with the same therapist, ensure that they take steps to address the violation, rebuild trust, and provide the support you need to heal and progress in therapy.
You may feel compelled to end therapy with a culturally incompetent therapist who does not respect your beliefs and values. A good therapist should foster an environment where a client feels heard and safe. If they are not, then consider it a red flag to end your relationship.
Reaching a plateau with your therapist is also another reason you might want to terminate therapy. Treatment should help you gain new insight or implement changes. However, you may feel your therapist can no longer help with your mental health issues, and you’re better off with another.
Other times, you could feel you need another treatment approach. For instance, your current provider uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and it doesn’t seem to work. As such, you may want to look for a new therapist who uses other treatment methods like dialectal behavioral therapy.
Another sign it’s time to stop therapy is when you don’t have anything to discuss with your therapist. Sometimes, you may find yourself repeating the same thing. This may indicate a lack of progress, calling for immediate termination.
If your needs have changed in the course of therapy, then you should call it off. In this case, your provider is not the right fit for you. For instance, if you began to address marital problems but later considered adoption, then you’d want a provider who specializes in adoption.
Finally, sometimes you may feel like you can handle your situation alone. For example, you may have learned new coping tools and don’t need much support from your provider. If you feel you can manage your symptoms and are keeping in with your goals, then you may consider ending therapy.
Factors to Consider Before Ending Therapy
“Therapy is not intended to last forever. In fact, as therapists, our goal is to help improve your confidence and self-efficacy. Successfully completing treatment may mean you’ve developed the skills and insights to navigate life’s challenges independently. Stopping therapy allows you to put those new skills into practice,” says Gennifer Williams.
No matter your reasons for ending therapy, it is important to ensure a smooth exit. Ghosting your therapist may not only make things worse if you ever think of returning but also potentially delay your progress and hard work. Joanna Snyder says, “You may find therapy is a stepping stone to other healing resources in your life, and may discover other groups just as healing. Lack of goodbye or closure sometimes leaves the client and therapist hanging.”
The following are essential considerations to make before you make a call to end therapy.
Discuss Your Plan with Your Therapist
Abrupt termination of your treatment may make you feel abandoned and deny you opportunities to cement learned skills. Therefore, ensure you have allowed ample time to discuss your plan to stop therapy with your therapist. Reflect on gains and what you expect to achieve in the future.
If you attend therapy sessions weekly, consider changing to biweekly or monthly until full termination.
Consider Future Challenges
Relapses — recurrence of a disease or disorder after a period of improvement — are normal. However, you can work with your therapist to put a plan in place to anticipate or notice their early warning signs and problem-solve them.
It is important for therapists to address relapse prevention prior to termination and help you come up with a relapse prevention plan. However, if the provider does not initiate this process, then you can ask for it. Explore a possible relapse and how you will handle it using your newly learned coping skills. Discuss potential problems you will likely encounter in the future and how you will use learned strategies to cope with them.
It is helpful to have an aftercare plan setup or transitional care so that you can continue to see another therapist if the relationship is ending due to not being the best fit.
Recognize and Process Through Emotions
You may experience different emotions as you terminate therapy. For instance, you may feel grief about your therapeutic relationship ending or guilt that you’re leaving your therapist. It’s important to process these emotions with your therapist to help you continue to move forward.
Your current therapist — barring ethical and legal violations that may make you decide to move on immediately — should allow space for processing your emotions around termination.
Be Honest
If you did not like something about the therapy, you can give a constructive critique. For instance, if the therapist is not engaging, you can tell them and propose a way to make it engaging.
Your therapist should also review your progress, guide you on maintaining it, and offer protocols for future help.
What to Do After Ending Therapy
Whether it’s you or your therapist who has decided to end therapy, it doesn’t mean your progress must end. Your provider may work with you to create a plan to continue applying your skills to maintain gains and handle setbacks. Various interventions can enhance your well-being even outside the therapeutic relationship.
Appreciate your achievements. Celebrating your accomplishments during therapy — big or small — boosts your resilience and self-worth.
A strong social support network is essential in maintaining your progress after therapy, and surround yourself with those who support and uplift you. Have open conversations with your loved ones and friends, and seek emotional support when needed.
Utilize the coping skills and strategies you learned in therapy. Whether it’s setting boundaries, managing stress, or communicating effectively, practice your skills according to the frequency that you and your therapist may have developed in your relapse prevention plan. It will help increase your emotional well-being and cement positive behaviors.
Engage in practices that enhance self-improvement and self-discovery. For example, engage in bibliotherapy that your therapist may have recommended, explore new interests or hobbies, or attend seminars or workshops. These activities can provide chances for personal growth and awareness.
Monitor your emotional wellness. If you find yourself returning to old habits, seek help.
Seek help if you go back to old habits. If you are facing a significant life-changing event, it may be good to revisit therapy. Your therapist will help you develop new skills to cope with the situation.
Finding a New Therapist
If you have terminated your therapy and feel you still want help, you may consider finding a new therapist. Discovering a new provider who best fits your needs can restore your therapeutic experience. But with more than 16,000 therapists across the U.S., how do you choose the right one for your needs?
The following are essential therapy tips that you may consider:
Communicate Your Treatment Goals
It is important to clearly communicate your treatment objectives with your new therapist to ensure therapy is effective. Misunderstandings or misalignment in desired goals may lead to a feeling that treatment is not working. Let your new provider understand what you expect at the end of the treatment so they can address specific needs.
Consider Their Treatment Approach
One of the reasons why you might have ended your therapy with the previous provider is the treatment type they used. You want to ensure the new therapist doesn’t use the same approach that you considered ineffective. Therefore, ask the new therapist what treatment options are available and see if they meet your current needs.
Cultural Competence
You may have ended your previous therapeutic relationship because the therapist was culturally incompetent. A therapist who understands and appreciates your values, beliefs, and experiences that you consider important to you based on your religion, sexual orientation, and racial/cultural identity can make a difference.
Referrals
A colleague or loved one’s referral can help you find a therapist who might fit you well. Your therapist may also refer you to another provider if they cannot satisfy your treatment needs. However, ensure the referred mental health professional meets your therapy goals and personal needs.
Ask Questions
Asking potential therapists about their practice and experience can help you determine if they are the right choice for you. According to the American Psychological Association, you may ask your therapist questions such as:
- Their experience dealing with people in a similar situation.
- The kind of treatment they use and if it has proven to be effective.
- The duration they have been practicing.
- How they charge for services.
Further, you can ask your potential providers about the steps they take to ensure their clients feel heard and understood.
Connect with a Therapist Today
There are many reasons you would want to end therapy, just as there are to start. However, knowing when to terminate your therapeutic relationship can sometimes feel confusing.
Understanding when your treatment is not effective and common signs you should watch out for can help you know when to stop therapy. If you make a decision to end treatment and feel you want more help, it is essential to consider finding a new therapist.
At Grow Therapy, we can help you secure a provider who will make a difference in your situation. Try our search tool to find a therapist near you.
