Having high self-awareness is often a good trait, and can be an advantage in life and personal relationships. However, is it possible to be “too self-aware” for therapy? A high degree of self awareness on its own isn’t always enough to support emotional growth and healing. The reality is that psychotherapy can be beneficial for anyone, even — and perhaps especially — people who are highly introspective or have a strong intellectual understanding of their own self.
Key takeaways
- Self-awareness is being able to understand your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors from a clear and objective place. The level of awareness varies from person to person and comes from reflection and introspection.
- Insight into your feelings alone isn’t enough; therapy connects understanding to actionable change and helps foster collaboration so you feel empowered rather than creating dependency.
- Therapists help identify blind spots and patterns that may go unnoticed. In therapy, you will learn skills that incorporate mindfulness and challenge cognitive distortions to reduce self-criticism.
What is self-awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to understand your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors clearly and objectively. Self-awareness comes from reflection and introspection, and can exist on different levels. Surface-level awareness means you’re aware of your basic emotions and behaviors — for example, hating the sound of leaf blowers — without exploring the root cause of that feeling. Deeper self-awareness requires the ability to both identify emotions and analyze their causes.
People who consider themselves “too self-aware” may believe that they have a deep understanding of their negative thoughts or patterns — but it doesn’t mean that they are actively changing negative behaviors. To create change means taking action and implementing strategies.
Reasons people feel “too self-aware” for therapy
“I don’t need therapy because I already know my problems”
Although many people are insightful enough to understand that they have problems, and what those problems are, insight alone is not enough for change. Therapy helps create a connection between understanding and change. Through getting in touch with triggers and emotions, people can apply an even greater level of awareness to their life and begin practicing new behaviors.
“Therapists just tell me what I already know”
There’s a common misconception that therapist essentially give advice. Effective therapy consist of a collaborative processs where the client and therapist work together toward a deeper understanding. Mental health professionals typically have graduate degrees in their field, as well as licensure which requires a long period of supervised work with clients. Therapists use this education and training to create a new kind of space for emotional growth, and support change in their clients by challenging assumptions and offering different viewpoints.
“I’ll become reliant on therapy which will hurt me, not help”
The goal with therapy is to help address your needs so you can live the life you want, not to have you in therapy indefinitely. Many therapists use therapeutic approaches that focus on short-term skills-based interventions to empower you to handle your challenges independently. For instance, with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) clients learn to understand and change negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. For many, the outcome of therapy is a “toolbox” that can be used to make and sustain change long after therapy has ended.
Why self-awareness doesn’t always translate into growth
Being aware of your issues doesn’t necessarily mean that you have the tools to resolve them. Without therapy, many people don’t understand the root causes of their challenges, and don’t acquire the skills for helping themselves feel better. Resolving certain issues requires emotional intelligence and experiential work; the power of a therapeutic relationship with a licensed therapist can go a long way toward helping. A common experience for most people is knowing what’s wrong but feeling powerless to fix it.
Over-intellectualizing
Some people use their intellectual understanding of emotions as a way to rationalize them rather than working through them. This prevents people from moving forward because they’re avoiding the uncomfortable process of sitting with their emotions.
For example, someone grieving a spouse may read online that they should “be over it” on the first anniversary of the death. They may latch on to what they read, and insist — both to themself and others — that once that first anniversary passes, they’re no longer grieving. The reality is that grief changes and will always be there, but in different forms. This sort of intellectualization keeps people from acknowledging and processing their true feelings.
Once individuals begin overthinking or hyperanalyzing, avoidance of deeper feelings occurs. Overthinking can cause intellectualization rather than taking the steps to explore and address them.
Blind spots in self-awareness
Even the most self-aware individuals can struggle to see certain things about themselves. A therapist can provide an objective perspective, challenge cognitive distortions, and highlight patterns of behavior that you may not have noticed. For example, with CBT, a therapist focuses on understanding the patient better by identifying their thinking patterns and behaviors, as well as cognitive distortions, or thinking errors. They then challenge those thoughts to help people overcome irrational thinking patterns. With other modalities, therapists will help clients release trauma and negative emotions from the body — experiences which can be difficult to achieve without the help of a trained therapist.
Self-awareness as a result of trauma or contributing factor to issues
In some instances, trauma intensifies self-awareness or self-consciousness where people become hypervigilant about their behaviors and emotions as a protection from harm. This hyper-awareness can lead to anxiety disorder or depression and manifest as constant worry or negative self-talk.
How therapy can help, even when you’re already self-aware
While self-awareness offers individuals insight into their thoughts and behavior, therapy helps to promote action to change behaviors.
Learning to practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the mental state of focusing one’s attention on the present moment, accepting it without judgment, and exhibiting an attitude of self-compassion. Therapeutic tools such as mindfulness and somatic experiencing can help clients process emotions experientially and also physically.
Working with resistance and defenses
We all have parts of ourselves, or our histories, which are difficult to engage with. When these things are confronted, we often protect ourselves by resisting or avoiding the perceived intrusion. Therapists can help us get past these defense mechanisms to unblock emotional growth. Approaches like Gestalt, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), or other experiential therapies are useful for individuals who intellectualize their emotions. These therapies help individuals process emotions in the present rather than intellectually.
Learning to let go of the need for control
Many highly self-aware individuals believe they need to control their environment and emotions. Talk therapy can help you explore your relationship with control, including where it came from and how it serves you. With therapy, you can learn to allow your emotions to surface through practices such as mindfulness or body awareness techniques.
Freeing yourself from perfectionism
Therapy can help with the need for constant introspection, leading to increased self-criticism or attempts at perfectionism. A technique such as mindfulness-based stress reduction (MSBR) helps to alleviate anxiety, improve mental focus, and enhance overall well-being. Exposure therapy can help individuals become more present at the moment and not spend time overanalyzing.
Working through shame and self-judgment
Highly self-aware individuals often experience harsh self-criticism causing them to sometimes experience shame as a result. A therapist can use CBT techniques to challenge cognitive distortions. These deceptive thinking patterns can significantly impact your daily life. Distortions such as all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralizing, or should-ing are unhelpful because they tell you things that aren’t true and limit your perspective on things that can happen.
Bottom line
Although people with high self-awareness tend to have a deeper understanding of themselves, therapy can still be helpful when it comes to emotions and behaviors. A therapist can help clients who tend to intellectualize feelings without experiencing them, challenge beliefs or patterns, and help clients find ways to apply their insight to promote change. Therapy can benefit people with both high and low self-awareness by exploring their subconscious patterns, relationship dynamics, and more.
Therapy helps create the space for deep emotional understanding, which can lead to action and personal development. When you understand your personality and focus on personal development, you learn what motivates you and how to use your strengths to grow. This knowledge helps you make better choices and handle challenges.
