Trends have a big impact on how people talk about mental health — and that, in turn, influences how they actually think about their own well-being. As therapists, we understand how the way we think about mental health can shape our experience of it. That’s why it’s so important to stay in the loop with the latest trends and have a plan for how to help clients make sense of them.
Take the “soft life” trend, for example. It has been described as a movement that emphasizes personal comfort, relaxation, and the prioritization of well-being over relentless productivity and societal expectations. It’s catching on, especially in a world where burnout feels like a constant companion. But like any trend, it can be a double-edged sword, and it’s up to us to help clients figure out how it fits into their lives — or if it should at all.
Understanding the “soft life”
The “soft life” trend has its roots in Nigeria, where it originally described a way of living that prioritizes ease, comfort, and minimal stress, especially in response to the expectations on Black women to be providers and workers. “Soft life” means enjoying life with as little effort and as much comfort as possible. However, writer Precious Mayowa Agbabiaka points out that as the term has gained popularity in the US and UK, it’s started to lose some of its original meaning. Instead of being about easy, stress-free living, it’s often misinterpreted as synonymous with luxury, wealth, or even being product-focused.
Grow Therapist Tahara Debarrows has noticed this trend cropping up in her sessions, especially among her female clients. She says, “When I’ve heard it in sessions from females, they say ‘soft girl.’ They talk about being more in tune with their emotions, enforcing boundaries with loved ones, and having a balance between working and personal goals.” For many, the “soft life” is about going after what they want but without beating themselves up in the process.
Tahara also shared how she’s applied the concept of balance in her own life. She recalled a time when she was seeing over 30 clients per week and feeling overwhelmed. “The money was good, but I needed to balance,” she said, explaining how she eventually settled on seeing 10 to 15 clients, which allowed her to maintain her well-being while still achieving her professional goals.
This perspective on the “soft life” highlights its true intent: to create a life where well-being comes first, without sacrificing personal goals.
The “soft life” in clinical practice
The “soft life” trend can be a very useful concept in therapy, especially when you’re working with clients on self-compassion or finding balance in their lives. It can fit right into approaches like ACT or DBT, where the focus is on helping clients take care of themselves without letting go of their goals or responsibilities. But, Tahara shared some of the things she thinks therapists should keep in mind when working with clients around the soft life concept.
Potential benefits
According to Tahara, one of the biggest positives of this trend is that it encourages conversations about mental health in a way that’s more approachable.
“I love the fact that there’s a conversation around how to deal with life’s issues,” she says. Even though terms like “soft life” aren’t clinical, they still open up important dialogues about how people are managing their well-being.
Key benefits:
- Promotes self-care: Encourages clients to take care of their mental and emotional well-being.
- Reduces guilt: Helps clients feel less guilty about putting themselves first.
- Normalizes mental health conversations: Opens up discussions about mental health, even with non-clinical language.
Red flags and considerations
There are potential downsides that therapists should be mindful of. Tahara has observed that some clients might use the “soft life” as a way to avoid dealing with difficult emotions or responsibilities.
“If it’s some type of avoidance tactic… or a way to avoid certain emotions,” Tahara explains, “that’s where we need to dig deeper.” There’s also a risk that clients could misunderstand the trend, thinking it means they can abandon all goals or responsibilities in the name of self-care. “Soft life” is about finding balance, but it’s not an excuse to throw everything away.
Things to watch for:
- Avoidance tactics: Clients using the trend to avoid addressing deeper emotional issues.
- Neglecting responsibilities: Misinterpreting the trend as a reason to abandon goals or responsibilities.
- Drastic life changes: Clients making impulsive decisions without fully processing their emotions.
Guiding clients
To help clients engage with the “soft life” trend in a healthy way, Tahara suggests focusing on balance. Therapists can encourage clients to find a middle ground between self-care and responsibility. It’s important to help them distinguish between healthy boundary-setting and using the trend as an excuse to avoid important aspects of their lives.
Tahara recommends asking questions like, “Where is this coming from? Let’s reevaluate your goals.” By supporting clients in aligning the “soft life” mentality with their personal goals and long-term well-being, therapists can help them benefit from the trend without falling into its potential pitfalls.
Strategies for guiding clients:
- Encourage balance: Help clients find a balance between self-care and responsibility.
- Differentiate boundaries from avoidance: Teach clients to distinguish between setting healthy boundaries and avoiding necessary tasks or emotions.
- Reevaluate goals: Assist clients in aligning the “soft life” mentality with their personal goals and long-term well-being.
Helping clients find balance
The “soft life” trend may be a fad, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be helpful in therapy. For clients who are burnt out or going through significant transitions, this trend can offer a way to reconnect with themselves and figure out what truly works for their well-being. As Tahara pointed out, it seems to resonate strongly with those “who are burnt out, experiencing some type of transition- like work-wise – or coming out of a relationship, where you’re trying to find yourself again.” By embracing the useful aspects of the “soft life,” therapists can help clients find a balance that supports both their mental and emotional health.
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