My approach draws on psychoanalytic thinking, which revolves on one central idea: much of what we think and feel remains outside of our awareness. Sometimes we keep powerful feelings hidden so we can continue moving through the day, or we simply cannot find time to reflect on everything that is happening to us. In any case, keeping these potent experiences hidden may leave us feeling stiff, dreary, unfulfilled, or even numb and dull.
In our first session together we’ll start with brief introductions and dive right into your concerns. You will find the session to be relieving, and you will likely feel seen/heard. You will speak about how things have been for you. We will discuss your cadence for individual psychotherapy sessions and frequency. This will help me create a tailored plan for us to work through in follow up sessions.
THINGS PEOPLE ASK THEMSELVES: Why did I act the way that I did? •Doubts, Depression are never on “speaking terms.” •In the “limbo” of overwhelm and irritability. •My life changed when I lost all of my hormones (Menopause). •Shame spiral exhaustion. •On our gravestone it might as well say “got here a lot earlier out of an inability to say no.” •Refined aggression. •Avoidance behaviors. What was I feeling at the time? •Anxiety/Nervousness/Nerves shot. •I have a habit of masking my face with a “smile.” •Rigid when I’m “not well or at my best.” •Negative thoughts about the self, environment/world around you, about the future. •On the receiving end of veiled insults, disguised as complements “bless your 💚.” Could I have acted differently? •Self reflection, adaptability and flexibility. •Set Firm/Fair/Safe Boundaries. •Little by little, return to self-compassion and don’t take my errors so personally. •Adaptive thinking = the ability to reflect in action and upon action. •Listen to the voice of my intuition, it often speaks in sounds, images or words. It can show me my orders; moment by moment. •Rest/Medicine/Nature/Acupuncture. •Give yourself the benefit of time/credit. •Notice your insecurities, don’t act on them. •Foster your own independence, it’s always a “green flag” for exploration. •Don’t idealize other couples; what you see on social media is not what they are. It’s just them on a good day. •Identify your best qualities as a partner. Write them down and recall evidence for each of them. It’ll make them feel real to you. I missed so many years? •Grief/loss. •Annoyed in silence. •A “going in my stay and a stay in my going.” •Realizing the pages of your life have turned. •Stuck in “problem finding” mode. •Time hasn’t paused for reminiscing. •Ignored too many “intuition signals.” •Stingy with the truth = Self Serving “fibs.” •Time aggravation = Current, Future, Existential. •Shame for the person you used to be. •Trauma = confusing and upsetting events. Could I do something different now? •Self appreciation, •Detach from a “habitual” solution, •Self-soothe, self-regulate, •Choose psychotherapy as a “wellness plan” •Set realistic expectations, •Monitor moods/triggers •Reframing to improve my mood/outlook, •Enhance coping skills, •Increase engagement in meaningful activities. •A “no” to them may mean a “yes” to YOU. By understanding our core motivations, we can make choices to continue to act in accordance with them, or change them.
The goal of CBT is to help the individual understand how their thoughts impact their actions. There are three pillars of CBT, which are identification, recognition, and management. Read more below to learn more about the three pillars of CBT. 🕊️ Identification 🔦 The first pillar of CBT is identification. This is where you identify your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. These are the components that make you, you. These things, however, can become negative over time. Negative thoughts, negative emotions, and negative behaviors lead to a negative mindset and life. Identification is important because you must be able to differentiate between what is serving you well and what is not. Recognition 👀 The second pillar of CBT is recognition. This may seem like identification, but it takes identification a bit further. Identification is identifying that you may have negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in certain moments; recognition is recognizing in the moment that you are having negative thoughts and emotions or are behaving in a negative way. Once you recognize that you are thinking or behaving negatively, you can stop these wayward patterns. You can prevent this by practicing new skills. Management 💡 The third pillar of CBT is management. Management is your ability to use skills and activities to help ease your mind, nerves and body. Management can be done in the moment, but also during moments where you are not engaging in unhelpful thoughts or behaviors. Managing your thoughts and behaviors need to be done outside of the negative moments, too.